IV. Meh

It took Jen three hours to realize Jenny was gone and four to sort out Gwynn was the reason. Jen brought Gwynn into the lab to find something suitable to restrain the fairy with. He bound the fairy's wrists tightly, wrapping ropes around the already heavy shackles and tying them together. Jen started the torture session with a kiss. He poured a poison into his mouth he had long developed an immunity to, then kissed the fairy to pass the toxic liquid into Gwynn's mouth. Jen forcefully closed Gwynn's mouth shut. "Drink it." The fairy swallowed the poison. His throat burned as it went down. Shortly after, he collapsed to the ground in agony. Gwynn clutched his stomach. Jen kicked him. "You should survive that. The old reports say the last time you were given that you were better within an hour. Quite an impressive recovery. That would kill most humans in fifteen minutes. You should be grateful I'm so generous as to give you that over killing you." "You're not killing me because you can still use me, whether I want it or not. It's not generosity." Gwynn snapped back. His skin began to burn as his stomach seered with pain. He felt the food he ate earlier wanting to come back up. Jen grabbed him by his hair. He lifted him up, yanking as hard as he could. "You really shouldn't anger me today. I'm still furious over Jenny's behavior. I didn't get to punish her enough. And now I can't, because of you. You can't comprehend how much rage is inside me. I'm going to dismember you today, and then have you put yourself back together. Then I'll do it all over again, and again, and again until I'm satsified. And then I'm going to rape you." "Get on with it." Gwynn glared. "It's not any different than any other day." "Oh? Are you bored of that?" Jen threw him back on the ground. He picked up a knife. "Perhaps I should skin you alive before I dismember you. I've never done that before." "It's all the same. Do whatever you want." Gwynn smirked. He did his best to hide his pain. "You can't get to Jenny anymore. Never again will you touch her." Jen took the blade and dug it deep into Gwynn's chest. "Wherever you've sent her, I'll find her. You've merely delayed me capturing her." "I've sent her somewhere no one of your blood may ever go so long as you bind me." The fairy laughed. "What does that mean?" "Per my contract with the Blackwell bloodline, so long as you own me, neither I nor any of your bloodline may enter the other realm. While I cannot, any of my blood who are not enslaved may. And while Jennifer may have married you, she is not by blood part of your family. Jenny is free to cross between the realms. And you, if you even try, you will be incinerated at the border down to your soul. You will cease to exist." Gwynn laughed louder. "Do as you wish to me. You will never be able to harm my daughter ever again." Jen's eyes widened. He bore his teeth at the fairy and stabbed again. "You piece of shit. Your daughter...all you did was supply the semen. She's mine." "What sort of father rapes his daughter?" Gwynn used magic to remove the ropes around his wrists. He grabbed Jen's wrist and forced him to remove the blade. "You are father to none and you never will be, barren monster. From neither your body, nor the kindness of your soul shall you ever be anyone's father. You're not even a proper husband. All you are is..." Jen slashed across Gwynn's face. "Shut up! Shut up!" After that cut came another and another. Jen's motions were relentless. The floor filled with blood. The more he cut, the more excited and angry he became. Jen got up from the ground and searched for something bigger to cut Gwynn with. None of the sharp objects in the lab were big enough for what he wanted. He settled for his gun instead and shot through the fairy's wings. Seeing the holes in the delicate wings gave him a rush. He put the gun aside and ripped the wings clean off with his bare hands. The scream Gwynn made when he ripped the first one off was louder and more pain filled than any he had ever gotten out of Gwynn before. Jen smiled. "Oh, that really hurts you, doesn't it? Your precious wings...Now you look just like me." Jen held up one of the wings. "Tell me, fairy, how much does it hurt? One a scale of one to ten, what would you describe it as?" Gwynn struggled through tears and pain to speak. He grit his teeth. "Fuck you." "What was that?" Jen asked, amused. "Fuck you!" Gwynn yelled. Blood dripped from his mouth and nose, an effect of the poison. "Fuck? Perhaps, we should." Jen held Gwynn's hands down. "You always put up a fight when you know I own you." "You aren't my master. I..." Gwynn said as Jen forced his tongue in Gwynn's mouth. Jen reached again for the discarded knife. He broke the kiss, licking the blood off his lips. The taste of iron lingered in his mouth. "It would be entertaining to make you cut yourself up, but I know you won't unless I use your name. And if I do that, you won't remember. I suppose I'll have to do it myself." With one slow motion, Jen cut through Gwynn's clothes. He stripped the fairy naked, then cut into the fairy's arm at the elbow. Instinctively, Gwynn tried to push him off. When their hands touched, Gwynn's hand was repelled. "You know very well you can't hurt me. It's against your contract." Jen cut deeper. He leaned back and undid the front of his pants. "Maybe when I'm done punishing you, I should get rid of you. I know very well how to capture a fairy. I haven't bothered because I had you and Jenny. Should I smash your skull in until there's nothing left just like they did to your wife and daughter?" Jen's words drew those memories to the front of Gwynn's mind in perfect clarity. Faced with the prospect of death, Gwynn shed tears for himself. He spoke softly to Jen. "As you wish." "That's it? You give up? What fun is that for me?" Jen played with Gwynn's hair. "You're like Virgil. I hate that. Fight me, or be empty. Do not give me sadness. I have no use for that." The fairy looked in Jen's eyes, searching for any sign of the little boy he once knew who was kind and gentle. Like so many of the Blackwell line he had helped raise, Jen became a monster before adulthood. The older Jen got, the more wicked he became. But Gwynn's mind couldn't forget the sweet, innocent boy who used to cry in his arms at night after the adults forced him into some horrible torture yet again. He gave all those children his love and support. In the end, they all turned to monsters, submitted to monsters, or were killed by monsters. Somehow, Jen had become the cruelest of them all. He wished for Jen's death and his own for such a wish. For a being of healing to wish death on another was shameful. It was against his nature. Gwynn looked away, resigning to whatever fate Jen had in store for him. He thought about the being who created him. He felt so much love from that man. Where was his father now? Gwynn often wished for that man to rescue him, but Gwynn knew his father would never come. Once he left the care of his father, his fate was his own. His father's role in the order of the Earth required him to interfere as little as possible in the fates of others beyond granting life, including in those he created directly. In spite of knowing that, he prayed in his mind anyway. He prayed to anyone who could be listening, to either save him from this moment or end his life. As Jen spread Gwynn's legs open, Gwynn sensed another presence in the room with them. The being in the room with them was one he had only encountered a few times in his life, but he could never forget the feeling of their energy. His eyes searched for the source of that great power. "What are you looking at?" Jen looked around, confused by Gwynn's behavior. A strange person leaned against the counter beside them. The person, dressed in all white, appeared to be a man. His skin was dark, though his eyes were a cool grey. The features on his face suggested the man was of African descent. Blue wings were folded against his back. Jen found this perplexing. All the fairies he had encountered before looked of European descent. "Who...are you?!" "Meh. It doesn't matter." The being answered casually. "Answer me, filthy creature. How did you get in here?" Jen demanded to know. "Ones like you disappoint me the most. To know so much pain and instead of having greater empathy for others...you seek power for the purpose of crushing others." The fairy being looked at Jen with deep disgust. "Over and over, ones like you set everything back for nothing. For no grand scheme, no greater purpose...only to make yourself feel powerful. You cannot become anything truly worthwhile, so instead you break everything down until all are beneath your trembling feet. I can see the beauty and meaning in the quiet moments you refuse to concern yourself with, but you...in all the noise and tangled fates interwined within the fabrics of space and time...for you, I can truly say with absolute certainty, the very ground beneath your feet and the atoms dancings around you would be better off if you ceased to exist from this moment on." "Who the hell are you?!" Jen grabbed Gwynn's arm. "Fairy, get up and..." "No!" Gwynn pushed Jen away and bowed on the floor in front of the stranger. "There is no contract you can place on me that will force me to obey your wishes against them." "Them?" Jen looked around, but saw no others. "Who are you referring to?" "You stand before God, you foolish human." Gwynn bowed deeper. "God? God?!" Jen laughed. "There is no god. You've all called yourselves god. I see a fairy before me, a hideous one. I didn't know fairies could be ugly." The fairy being laughed back. The being hopped down from the table and walked over to Jen, placing both hands on Jen's face. Jen flinched in disgust. The being smiled. "Oh, how often you lie. I can read everything inside you. What you see before you, you find beautiful. The fact that you do is what disgusts you and what you find ugly. You find yourself far more ugly than this illusion of a body." Jen knocked the being's hands off, then touched the places on his face where the hands once were. He felt deep repulsion and arousal. His skin crawled at how dirty he felt. He wanted to wash himself off. The sensation he felt inside him was the same as when his body was covered in the blood and guts of others. He wanted to vomit. "How dare you touch me, you filthy..." The being grabbed Jen's wrists. An electric current flowed through Jen's body, dropping him to his knees. An unseen force made Jen look upward at the being. The beginning's appearance shifted. Native American features mixed in with African ones. On the being's forehead, a golden horn appeared. Dragon scales appeared down the arms. The being spread out those fairy wings, a perfect replica of Gwynn's blue ones before Jen ripped them apart. Hung now from the white shirt were a pair of the unicorn horn glasses with a large scratch across the left lens. Jen reconized the damage from decades past. Virgil's careless behavior in the lab. The glasses were too difficult to make to replace them. Those were the glasses Virgil had discarded when he ran off with Thomas. "What a hateful creature you are, so vile and full of fear." The being pulled Jen closer against Jen's will. Jen couldn't control his body at all. He couldn't speak. The being whispered to Jen. "I rarely speak to anyone, but when I do, I often take a body that is what will make who I am speaking to the most comfortable. But for you, I will not grant you that. It would only reinforce your cruel ways. For you, I have shown you everything you hate most. Everything you fear most. And yet, you've created such a beautiful image from your fears. You see it. You know it's true. You can create such beautiful images in your mind, and it disgusts you that you find them beautiful." The being's body shed the horn and the scales. The African features were entirely replaced with Native American ones. The man's hair grew out and changed texture, the hairstyle the same as the one Virgil had before he died. The being looked at Jen with Virgil's eyes reflecting Thomas within them. "What you hate most...how strange...I should put you out of your misery. Every path you can take from here, there is no chance you will ever change from the monster you are now. You would have to defy all of my aeons and aeons of perfected calculations to change. But my goals require me to mostly be an observer of fate, and I love to be defied. For now, I will let you continue on. I hope you prove me wrong. I too am foolish. I know I will be disappointed in the end. And yet, I hope you will prove me wrong." Jen felt a fear deeper than than the one the deer-man had caused him. He should have been trembling, but his body was unable to move at all. He realized he was not breathing. Jen was certain his heart had stopped. The being then turned to Gwynn. "Forgive me, little fairy. I'm not the savior you wished for. But know this, whether in chains or free, you will know peace one day." The being's body changed to black mist. The mist surrounded Jen and Gwynn. When Jen looked over at Gwynn, Gwynn appeared different. His eyes were empty, his expression blank. The wings were gone. His body was bruised and bloodied. Where the chains usually were on Gwynn were now burning red marks. Jen turned back to where the strange person was standing before. He saw a man through the mist. The black faded to mists of red and grey. As it faded, the man behind the mist became clearer. Dressed in red, with long raven hair and eyes that matched, a man nocked an arrow. He rose his bow up and aimed at Jen. At the tip of the arrow, a ball of fire and starlight flickered. Jen unconsciously backed away. He sensed something behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw the black-haired deer-man baring his teeth in a cold smile. A summer night heat hit Jen's skin as distant thunder rumbled. Above him, dark clouds were covering stars of a night sky. He looked back at the archer. Behind the man, the clouds parted to reveal a blood red moon. With a graceful movement, the man released the arrow. Jen closed his eyes. When he opened them, there was nothing there. Jen fell to the ground in shock. "What was that?" "What did you see?" Gwynn asked. "You didn't...you didn't see any of that? What did you see?" Jen asked him. "I saw God, the same way I've always seen and sensed them." Gwynn said. He elaborated. "Didn't you listen? They show you a body you can comprehend. God doesn't have a physical form. It sounded like they showed you something that you didn't want to see. For me, they always appear as a fairy...sometimes a man, sometimes a woman. What did you see? They said they showed you a body you would hate." "I saw..." Jen stopped himself from saying more. "Why am I answering you? You don't need to know. The body didn't matter. It's the part after it I want to know about. Did you see that man with the bow or the black deer?" "I didn't see either of those things. But I did see a fox. A white fox covered in starlight." Gwynn said. "A fox? Starlight...so you did see starlight too..." Jen rubbed his forehead. "That man looked familiar...I'm sure I've seen him somewhere before. But where?"" As soon as Jen thought about that, it came to him. "But that can't be...he'd be dead. Fairy, take me to the archive room. Do it quickly before I remember to finish beating you to death." Gwynn forced himself up through the pain. 'You anger God enough to have God directly threaten you for your behavior, and yet you continue on like this anyway. I can't understand your mind.' The fairy transported the both of them to the archive room. Tired, Gwynn rested on the floor. He was too weak to quickly heal himself. He would have to heal gradually over time. It was taking all of his remaining strength to stay awake. He couldn't say anything of his limits. Jen would hurt him more if he did. Even if he didn't, he knew Jen wouldn't care. There was no point in asking for pity. Jen looked through the old family portraits. He found one that confirmed what he suspected. The hairstyle was different, but the face was the same. The man he saw was Rowan Blackwell, the older brother of his ancestor, Wren Blackwell. Records listed Rowan Blackwell, also known as the Bloody Raven by comrades and enemies alike, had died in battle at the end of the war between the Blackwell and Winter families. Locals considered these details to be myth, but old records listed the battle going badly for both sides because of two dragons interrupting the fight. The battle turned into a massacre. Knowing what he knew and had encountered first hand, Jen believed the stories about dragons were true. Rowan's remains were not recovered. As proof of his death, his bow had been returned to the castle. 'His bow was returned...he was an archer...No body found...Surely, he wouldn't still be alive. Unless...' Jen looked at his own hands. 'Did he find some way to extend his life as I have? No, it's more likely that person merely looked like him...It can't be him, can it?' Jen had an idea. He pointed to the portrait and asked Gwynn. "Fairy, do you know who this man is?" The fairy looked at it, then away. "The face looks somewhat familiar, I suppose. But I am much older than you. I could be misremembering." 'A fairy answer. He knows something and he doesn't want to tell me.' Jen smirked. "Gwynn, tell me, is this man alive right now?" Gwynn put his hand to his head. A throbbing pain hit him before he blacked out. His body spoke while his mind slept. "Yes, he was granted immortality by one of the most ancient beings on this world." Jen's body went cold. "He is alive?! Where is he now?" "In the other realm, where you cannot go." "Could you defeat him?" Jen asked. "I don't know. I know I cannot defeat the sorcerer who shares his bed." Gwynn said in a monotone voice. "Sorcerer?" Jen had more questions. "Is this sorcerer human or an immortal being? A fairy? An elf?" "An immortal human raised by a fairy." "Who is this sorcerer?" Jen asked. Gwynn raised his arm and pointed at the portrait beside Rowan's. Jen looked over. The name of the man escaped him, but he knew who he was. The blond man was a knight who served the Blackwell family, Rowan's secret lover. He was supposed to have also died in the same battle as Rowan. He was known as the Hellhound. Jen read the name listed below the painting. Robin Ó Rinn. He recalled how heavily he had to censor that man's diaries. "The damn pervert is the sorcerer. Of course. Gwynn, is there anyone who can defeat this sorcerer?" "None you could ever control, and nearly all would protect him specifically over you. There are two, however, who would enjoy eating him." Gwynn said. "What are their names?" Jen ignored the first part of what Gwynn said. "Loup may make a deal with you." "A wolf?" Jen put a blade to the the portrait and sliced across the knight's neck. "A wolf to kill a bitch. Sounds right. Where do I find this wolf?" "They will find you when you wish to make a deal, but I would not make a deal before you learn more about their ways. You will be out-maneuvered." Gwynn warned. Jen was unbothered. "I know that. You said there was two. Who is the other one?" "You cannot make a deal with this one. We called it Maa because that is the sound it makes. The greatest darkness on this earth, not born of this earth. Do not attempt to seek out this monster. This creature could kill most of those who could protect the sorcerer. Loup fears this creature. Only unicorns do not fear it, for it fears unicorns." "It fears unicorns?" "Unicorns and chickens are the only beings it fears. A chicken cannot harm it, but Maa will be frightened by their presence. No one knows why it fears chickens. For the unicorn, it is because unicorns cannot be deceived by others or themselves. Maa will show those who look into its eyes the most horrifying illusion the person's own mind can create. The illusions it creates are far beyond what the firebird can make, and it will always create exactly what you fear most while it pulls you in to eat. As it cannot use this magic on a unicorn, and the unicorn can see it for exactly what it is, it is frightened unicorns will consume it." Gwynn explained. "If you are foolish enough to speak to such a monster, I would advise you to have at least one unicorn with you at the time." "Capturing a unicorn and making it do my bidding...that's impossible itself. Unicorns are too powerul in their transformations to ever be held for long." Jen shook his head. "That's why we can't breed them. We have to go for the kill to get their horns. We're lucky if we get anything else." "It is impossible without a unicorn, or one of the most ancient beings, those gods of our world, shielding you. But Maa most certainly can kill that sorcerer. However, that sorcerer himself...his bloodline is blessed by unicorns and he has many bonds with unicorns. Unicorns will not do your bidding if they caught wind you sought to do harm to him." Jen slapped the fairy across the face. "Do you have anything to say that won't make me angry?" "I am telling you the facts of the situation. Your best route would be to make a deal with Loup. They can be reasoned with, possibly. Do not confront Maa, unless you seek your own death." Gwynn did not react to Jen's violence. "And it will be an eternal death beyond death. Those who are swallowed by Maa cannot become ghosts or demons or pass on to the other realm. Their souls are lost in the void, because that is what is inside of Maa. An empty void." Jen's body shivered. "What...do you mean by that? What sort of being is this?" "This being is not from earth. You would give it the name 'virus', but that is only because that is what it is most closely like when compared to what exists on earth. Viruses amassed into one ever shifting, ever moving form, a form so great and unusual that no virus on earth is similar. It does not think. It has only basic wants, such as hunger and the desire to replicate and spread. It knows fear, it receives pleasure from consuming. There are no organs, but there are teeth-like structures and a mouth. The mass receives nourishment collectively when it feeds. Somehow, it receives nourishment by sending bodies into the void. The most knowledgeable of those in the other realm do not fully understand what this being is. Everyone avoids it. If you escape the mass with any part of the mass on you, it will destroy you. There is a fungus that it will tolerate coexisting with when separated from the main mass. The parts too far away receive nourishment through the fungus consuming the infected person. You must never let it touch you in any way. Once it has touched you, even if you escape, you will die unless you are immortal or a very powerul healer quickly eradicates it from your body. Your soul will survive if you are not directly consumed, but nothing else. Do not ever seek out Maa." Gwynn explained. "It does not think...but it has a symbiotic relationship with another organism...then, there is a way to make an arrangement with it. I simply need to sort out what it would desire." Jen rubbed his chin. "A virus and a wolf. What sort of being is this wolf, Gwynn?" "Another virus. That is the closest thing you could define it as, but it is an ill fit." Gwynn answered. "A collective being, it is both they and he, wolf and man, shapeshifting and formless. The voice it speaks with is an illusion cast into your mind, one distinctly human and masculine. The form is one and many, a main clustered, shifting body and many others distant from the core group in their own clusters doing the bidding of the main colony. They communicate in collective groups through animal flesh and around the energy of lingering ghosts. Like Maa, Loup also has a symbiotic relationship with a life form, a worm that helps aid in its replication. The worms help drive those who've come in contact with the virus mad enough to attack and spread it to others. Those who become part of the bigger collective masses Loup approaches directly. Those are the ones deals are made with, in exchange for the body as food and the soul as an energy to cling to." "Interesting." Jen looked back at the portraits of the archer and the knight. "Tell me, Gwynn, why did that god of yours show me a vision of that archer and the black deer?" "I don't know. It may be that what you saw is related to something in your future." Gwynn said. Thinking on the black deer, Jen had an idea. "Gwynn, you were vague with me before. Do you know the name of the black deer? If you do, tell me it. Tell me who he is." "His name is Kier. He was born in the old world, like me. The man who once ruled over life on this planet made him as one of several children to manage the earth. Kier was meant to be a protector of life and guardian of forests. He became corrupted and killed many. For his crimes, he was cursed to stay at the bottom of the place that became known as the Black Well." "The Black Well that gifted my family our old name and power." Jen said. "But he is free now...roaming...Do you know how he was freed?" "I freed him." Gwynn answered. "Excuse me?" "I freed him before I met your family." "Why did you do that?" Jen asked. "I pitied him. He did wicked things, but only because he lost his mind. His spirit is not inherently wicked. I hoped he might come to be kind again one day, but he is still unwell." "Of course this would be your fault." Jen laughed at his own misfortune. "Gwynn, cut yourself with my knife." Gwynn took the knife from Jen and cut across his arm repeatedly. The blood dripping from the open wounds got Jen excited, as did Gwynn's empty gaze. He felt disgust at his own reactions. He couldn't remember anymore when he became like that. It was too long ago. He wanted to violate Gwynn's body. He caressed Gwynn's face and kissed him. "You must hate me, don't you?" "I've never hated you." "Why not?" Jen asked as he gently took the knife back from Gwynn. "I want to believe you are still good inside." The fairy said. "Even when you hurt me." "That makes you stupid. You know that, right?" Jen kissed him again. Gwynn nodded. "I know you'll probably kill me one day." "Are you afraid of me?" "No. I've accepted the pain." Gwynn fell forward, weak from his injuries and the poison. "I still love you, as I've loved all the others. I am unable to hate. I still wish for your heart to heal." "If you love me, why do you defy me? You should submit like Jennifer." Jen held the fairy close in an embrace he would not have given if Gwynn was conscious. He gently brought Gwynn down onto the floor. Gwynn, arms limp at his sides, leaned against Jen. Even with the power of the contract controlling his unconscious body, he was so drained of blood that his body would need to fall into a deep sleep soon to recover. With the last of his strength, Gwynn answered. "If I submit, I am afraid...if there is any light remaining within you...it will die with my spirit." Jen laughed again. He petted Gwynn's hair. "Submitting to me kills your spirit? Perhaps it should die then." "It will." Gwynn's eyes began to close. Jen noticed. He gave one more order. "Gwynn, heal yourself to the point of nearly being fully healed. I want you to feel minor pain for a couple of weeks once you wake." "As you wish." Gwynn was able to complete the command, then went to sleep. Jen carried the fairy to the small room the family allowed Gwynn to live in. It was not a full room. The space was originally designed to be a storage closet. The family had modified it to have a window for the fairy to look out. The bed was directly beneath the window. Aside from a chest of clothes, there was nothing else in the room. Jen placed the fairy on the bed. He examined the fairy's back. The wings had been restored already, though they appeared less bright than before. At the place where the wings grew out from his back, Jen noticed small, black spots. A white, mold-like substance gathered around the black spots. Jen gathered some of the white, puffy substance to examine in the lab later. Sitting on the bed, Jen looked over the fairy. He touched Gwynn's face. "What a strange creature you are. It's a shame. You are quite beautiful. If you submitted to me, I might feel something like love for you. Quiet, with those deep, empty eyes, and a head full of thoughts only of me and my desires. But you won't become that, will you? I'll probably have to kill you one day." Jen imagined his perfect version of Gwynn. The vision excited and repulsed him. He felt immense power and happiness at the thought of molding the fairy like that. Underneath those feelings, he felt such despair he wanted to slit his own throat. He buried the second feeling down to the deepest, darkest corners of his mind. "Kier...I'll need to research that name. Perhaps I'll be able to discover more about the family now that I know that monster's name." Jen got up from the bed. "Be glad I am distracted again. I'll forgive you for letting Jenny free. She turned out worthless anyway. If I can break your will, we should try again. Maybe the next child would be better." He left the room to begin his research through the family records. Gwynn slept for a week. When he came to, he could remember little of what happened. His memory became blurry after letting Nev go. Given his injuries, he presumed Jen must have caused them as a punishment. With as hazy as his mind was, he knew Jen had to have ordered him to do something, but he didn't know what. Whatever it was, he felt some peace knowing nothing he could have been ordered to do would ever get Jen any closer to Nev. He glanced out the window. A little bird caught his eye. A small robin sat on a branch on the other side of the glass. Gwynn smiled. Silently, he sent a message to another robin to ensure his daughter would find somewhere safe to stay. V. Robin