V. Nev

The sun was setting on her back. Nev wandered the unfamiliar woods uncertain of where to go. Gwynn had given her no further information than two names. How was she to find these women, Avis and Flora? Where was she now? She wished she could use her wings to get a view of the landscape from above, but as Jen had always kept them cut, she didn't know how to fly. Jen. She couldn't go back to where he was. The man who had extended her life, had ensured her birth, had cared for her all those decades and called her daughter. How quickly he discarded her and violated her for displeasing him; her mind could not comprehend yet what to call him anymore. He used to be her father, though she always knew Gwynn was her biological father. She didn't care about that. She happily did everything Jen ever wanted in search of his love. Her lover's death and her own assault at his hands, it didn't seem real. Yet, the images in her mind were more real, more intense than any other memories that existed within her. She couldn't even take comfort in Goldy anymore, nor her own mother. Everything was pulled out from under her at once. She was free now, but alone. And Gwynn could not join her. Nev feared what Jen must have done to Gwynn once he found out Gwynn helped her escape. Her name too, who was she to be? Nev didn't feel right yet. Jenny didn't either. She didn't want to hear that name ever again. "Who am I?" She asked herself as she sunk down beneath a rowan tree. Nev hid herself underneath her cloak of fur, wishing to becoming an animal herself and forget everything. Nev closed her eyes. The night would soon wash over her and she wouldn't have gotten any closer to finding those women. "You shouldn't sleep out here at night. It's dangerous." A voice said. Nev opened her eyes. A lantern burned brightly before her. She glanced up to see who it belonged to. A man leaned down and offered his hand to her. He had wavy, blond hair that hung just above his shoulders. The man was dressed in a blue robe. His eyes were a brown shade and full of light. The lantern's light reflecting off his eyes gave them a tiger's eye like appearance. A crown of water lilies rested on his head. His hands were rough. Nev unconsciously recoiled away from him. "Don't touch me!" The man leaned back. "Forgive me. I do not mean you harm. I merely meant to warn you. I don't know where you are going, but this place is not safe. Please, seek shelter as soon as you can." "Why is it unsafe?" Nev asked. "There are creatures that prowl these woods at night who prey on the lost. If you do not possess powerful magic or physical strength, you will not survive to see dawn." The man said. "You have wings. Why do you not have a shield around you?" "Shield? What do you mean?" The man looked at her more closer. "Are you Nev?" "Who are you?" Nev answered him with her own question. "My name is Robin, though most call me Rin. I am a hermit." The man said. "I received a message from an old friend earlier that he had sent his half-fairy daughter into this realm to help her flee a monstrous human. He said her name was Nev. Is that you?" Nev's eyes lit up. She hoped this man was an ally. She needed to make sure. "What was this fairy's name?" "Gwynn, the one known as the light in the darkest night, the fire amongst the frost, the shield against the winter's breath. All those who are old enough to have known him have never forgotten him." Robin said to her. Nev cautiously stood up. "If you can speak to my father, why do you not help him?" "I do not have the power to free him. That is beyond me. But there are no chains that can silence his voice reaching me." Robin bowed to her. "I wish I could help him, but I am not powerful enough for that yet. To break that sort of magic, there are few in this world who could. I cannot help your father, but I can aid him by protecting you. He sent you here to protect you from those who enslaved him. He meant to send you to my sister, but he was not able to send you quite that far." "Who is your sister?" "My little sister's name is Avis. She currently lives with her wife, Flora, on an island not far from here. But you will not be able to get there on your own. You'll need to be guided there, and one mustn't travel at night here. It's too dangerous. I can bring you to her once dawn returns." The man offered his hand again. Nev's hand shook as she took hold of the man's. Unless he was a mind reader, he shouldn't know all of that information. She chose to believe that this man was sent by Gwynn. The man named Robin led her through the darkening woods to a small cottage. A garden grew all around it. Inside, the house was warmly lit by lamps that appeared to run off of nothing. A fireplace filled with flames burned without logs. Resting in front of the fire was another man. This man had long black hair and was dressed in red. He looked back at Robin. "Oh, did you find the girl?" The black-haired man asked. Robin nodded. He turned to Nev. "Nev, this is my husband, Rowan. We've been married for centuries now. I forget the exact number of years." Rowan laughed. "Does the precise number of years matter after you pass a hundred?" "Husband...you said your sister also had a wife. Are you and your sister both homosexuals?" Nev asked. "Ah, I believe that is the correct word to use amongst humans these days." Robin said. "I have no desire for women, and she none for men. Quite amusingly, my younger brother is also like me. My father thinks it's the funniest thing in the world." "Your father finds it amusing? How strange. In the time I've lived, it seems most fathers would be ashamed to have three children be in such a way." Nev wondered what sort of man Robin's father was. "The culture must be very different here." "You could say that." Rowan got up from the fireplace. He walked over to Robin and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm going to head off to bed now." "Goodnight, my love." Robin said. Rowan waved to Nev. "Nice meeting you, Miss. Please, enjoy your stay. You have nothing to worry about here. Robin has every bit of our home surrounded with all sorts of protective magic. There's no getting in here by force nor fairy magic. You can rest easy." "Oh, I see. I don't know how to do magic like that. I only know some healing magic." She said. "Perhaps Flora can teach you something new, though I'd think you'd eventually leave them in time for a more suitable mentor." Rowan said as he left the room. "More suitable?" Nev asked Robin. Robin led her to a door. He opened it. Inside was a small bedroom. "He means Flora cannot keep up with your potential. Your father, when he was free, was a gifted student of magic. His talents cannot progress anymore, but if he had been able to continue, he would be one of the most powerful healers in the world. You contain much of that same potential. You too could master the most difficult of that magic, should you choose. Will this room be alright for tonight? We have no other bedroom aside from our own." "Yes, this room will be fine." Nev looked over at the bed. Her eyes were getting heavier from looking at it. "What did you mean that my father's talents cannot progress anymore?" "One bound in slavery can never master any new magic so long as they are bound. It is part of the contractual spell placed on the person. They are locked in time to forever have exactly as much and no more power than they had in the moment of capture, unless they are freed." Robin explained. He went over to the small window in the room and checked the protective spell on it. "Those monsters captured a fairy so rare it's as if they captured a unicorn, but in doing so...they may as well have killed him. I would curse their names, but I bare the same." "What do you mean?" Nev's heart raced. "The name my husband gave me is Blackwell." Robin averted his eyes from her. "I would never have guessed the blood flowing within my beloved would be the same blood to bind one of my dear friends. It's a nightmare I cannot wake from." Nev faced the ground. "I have also bore that name, but the ones who hold my father now do not go by Blackwell anymore. They've changed their name to Summerfield." "Summerfield?" Robin moved away from the window. "Is there a reason? A marriage?" "No, a theory." Nev could hear Jen's voice in his mind as she recalled the event. "There was a debate in the family on which side the magic came from. One side argued for Blackwell coming from King Christopher Blackwell, the other Summerfield from Primrose Summerfield who married Leon Blackwell. The one who is my father's current master chose Summerfield." "Leon...I knew a Leon Blackwell once, but he didn't marry a Primrose...haha, though he was married three times, two by human record. I know nothing of whoever this Primrose was or this other Leon, but I can tell you Christopher Blackwell possessed no magic. Any magic that came through Blackwell travelled through Aoki." He said. Robin put his hand against one of the walls. The room on the other side was the room Rowan had retired to. "My beloved's mother, Ran, sometimes saw the future. So did her younger son, Wren. And my love, first rain and fire, then other magic came. It all comes from her. Her mother could see the future too and control the rain. Ran told me when her mother and father were wed, it rained on a perfectly sunny day. Her mother, she heard, may not have been human. I can attest to that. I know Rowan is not entirely human, but he doesn't know that yet." "What is he? Where does the magic really come from?" Nev asked, eyes wide. "There's no need to worry on that now. You are free of them. If you wish, discard both Blackwell and Summerfield. There's no reason for you to continue on in their nonsense. Give yourself a new name." Robin refused to answer her. Nev still wanted to know more, but understood Robin would not tell her the truth. He was right. She was getting caught up in their business. When she heard him speak, a part of her was eager to hear the answer in hopes of telling Jen. Her reaction disturbed her. "I don't know what to call myself. My father said my real name is Nev, but he gave me no family name. Do you know it?" "Gwynn does not possess one. He is only Gwynn. But if you'd like a second name, you can choose any you'd like." Nev looked out the window at the night sky. "I don't have a family right now, but perhaps if I ever married...if I could ever get myself to love again, I could erase them from me with that person's name. It would be nice, I think, if their name was related to the night." Robin laughed. "What's so funny?" Nev blushed. "My sister and her wife, their last name is Night. They are quite unavailable, but my father is presently unmarried. He took my sister's name after she discarded his." Robin grinned. "He what? I don't understand...Your father sounds like a very strange man." Nev raised an eyebrow. Robin nodded and laughed. "You have no idea." "I don't think I'd have any interest in a man who is already the father of children who've grown into adults centuries ago." Nev rolled her eyes. "His beard must be on the ground." "He's actually quite clean shaven these days." Robin said. He remembered something. "Oh, do you know how to manipulate water?" Nev shook her head. "I see. I'll get the chamber pot." He said. "I'm sorry, but our bathroom only works right if you can use water magic. You'll have to make do with something more primitive than what you're likely used to...though that will also be the case at my sister's home. I can fix our small tub for you, if you'd like to bathe tonight." "A bath would be nice, if it's not too much trouble." Nev said. Robin's hands glowed. A chamberpot and a large tub appeared in the middle of the room. Robin touched the tub. Water filled from the bottom. Nev watched him with awe. She looked up at him. "You said your sister doesn't have any plumbing at her home...Where does she bathe? Does she use a tub like this?" "No, she bathes in the river or the ocean." "What about the toilet?" Robin motioned toward the chamberpot. "You won't have even this. My sister's home is well, there are no walls. She has several shelters made of marble, but they possess little more than a bed. My siblings live much more...uh, simple lifestyles than my husband and me. Avis cares not for learning magic either. She prefers her sword at her side and the stars above her head." "Oh, I see." Nev wrinkled her nose. 'Where have you sent me to live, Father?' "I'll pack for you some items to take with you that will make things less, uh, bothersome." Robin moved his hand away from the tub. "There. It's ready. I'll be taking my leave now. If you need anything, I'll be in the room next door. I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well." "Thank you." Nev waited for him to leave. She locked the door. Cautiously, she undressed, keeping her fur close to the tub. The hot water felt good on her skin. She yawned. "No bathroom...lovely...I'll need to find somewhere else to go as soon as possible." After the bath, Nev redressed herself and curled up on the bed under her fur cloak. This was the first time she had ever slept anywhere without her mother or Jen near. The strange space put her on edge, but at least Jen couldn't find her here, she thought. She drifted off into a heavy sleep, waking at dawn. When she woke, for a moment she forgot where she was. She rose from the bed and searched the house for Robin, avoiding the bedroom. She didn't want to disturb his sleep. Unable to find him, Nev decided to wander outside. Robin had warned her the night was dangerous, but not the day and Rowan said the house was covered in protection spells. Surely, she thought, the land surrounding the house must also be protected. Nev walked around the garden, taking in the colors and scents of all the flowers. In the backyard, by a river, Nev saw a blond woman in blue crouching before a rose bush. The woman cut a few flowers off the bush and placed them in a basket. "Um, excuse me, who are you?" Nev asked. The woman looked over at Nev, smiling. "Oh, you are awake already. I didn't think you'd wake so early. Forgive me if I startled you. I am practicing a transformation spell at the moment." In a flash of light, the woman turned into Robin. Nev stepped back. "H-how?!" "It's a very difficult spell for a human to perform. Easy for fairies and unicorns. I don't think unicorns even have to think about it. They shift into strange shapes with the wind." Robin added. "Though it might be difficult for a half-fairy raised like a human. What did you think? How did I look?" "I would have never thought it was you. But...what is the purpose of such a thing?" Nev asked. "I want to have a child. Maintaining a female form and getting pregnant would be one way to make that happen, though Rowan is, understandably not very interested in that. I'm having a hard time with it myself. I don't think we'll be able to use this method. I've been studying other types of magic to find a solution." Robin said. "Ah well, perhaps I'll find some other use for that magic. Are you ready to leave already or would you like something to eat before we go?" Nev pulled her fur cloak tightly against her body. "I'd like to leave as soon as I can. Your sister does have food, right?" Robin nodded. "Flora's garden has plenty of food. However, if you wish for meat, you'll have to hunt or fish for it yourself." Nev sighed. "Well, I suppose I don't really need meat." "I'm sure you'll get used to it." Robin laughed under his breath. He went inside to let Rowan know they were leaving. Rowan waved them off before heading back to bed. Robin grabbed a bag and led Nev back into the woods. Nev kept as much of herself as possible covered with her fur cloak. She stayed cautiously beside Robin, afraid of what may be lurking out of sight and ready to run if she saw the faintest hint Robin was going to betray her trust. Deep in the forest, they came upon another river. A boat floated down to them. Nev couldn't sort out from where. It seemed to appear out of thin air. Robin got in the boat. He extended his hand out to her. "Come. We must travel by boat the rest of the way." Nev hesistated. She got in the boat, but kept more distance between her and Robin than when they walked through the woods. A strange fog came upon them quickly. "Your sister, what's she like?" Nev asked. "Avis is a very noble woman. She's like a knight out of a fairytale. A much better knight than I ever was, that's for sure." Robin gazed down at the water. "No matter what battles she endures or pain she suffers through, the blood never stains her heart." She didn't understand what he meant. "The other woman, Flora...what of her?" "Flora is..." Robin laughed. "She's like the roses in her garden...beautiful and sweet, and full of thorns." Nev understood that much more clearly. "Does anyone else in your family live with them?" "My father lives there. He is the only man allowed to live on the island." Robin looked over at Nev. "The women who come to that island are mostly human women who are running from men, human or otherwise. Many of the women there are afraid of men initially. My father helps them readjust to being around men. He lives on a different side of the island than where the women stay." "How does he do that?" Nev asked. "Different ways. It depends on what they're afraid of. For some, talking with him regularly is enough. Others have needed more specific fears dealt with. Some of the women have asked him to undress and others have asked to touch his body. Though he does reject certain requests." "What sort?" "No sexual encounters." Robin said bluntly. "You'd be surprised how many women request he sleep with them. Though I suppose I can see why they would ask for that. Many of the women there have been raped." "And he turns them all down? I find that unlikely." Nev crossed her arms. "Well, he has his reasons." Robin put his hand to his mouth and laughed loudly. "They're stupid reasons, but he does have them." "What do you mean?" Robin shook his head. "Don't worry on it. It's really not that interesting. Oh, we're here already." Nev looked around. As the fog dissipated around them, the forest had disappeared entirely. She was in the ocean now, the boat at a sandy shore. She stood up and got out of the boat immediately. Nev dug her hands into the sand in disbelief. "How...?!" Robin raised a finger to his lips. He exited the boat and walked past Nev. "It's a secret. After all, we can't have just anyone coming to this place. Come, we must take this path ahead. You are free to wander this place, but I am not." Nev looked back. The boat was gone. She ran to catch up to Robin. "Uh, what should I do if I don't like it here?" "You can tell them yourself. They'll find somewhere else for you to go, or they'll contact me to find a place for you. Don't worry. You'll be safe here." Robin reassured her. On the path before them, vines grew upward out of the ground and off the trees to block them from moving forward. Nev stood closer to Robin. "What do we have here? A man trespassing on our island. What should I do with you?" A woman said. Nev looked back to see two women standing behind them. One was slightly shorter than Nev with olive skin and long, dark hair. Her purple dress when down to her ankles. A golden sash with pink and white roses growing out of it was loosely tied around her waist. The other woman was nearly as tall as Robin. Her hair was the same golden shade. The blonde woman's hair was long like the dark haired woman. She kept it in a high ponytail, a barrette with a wing design decorating each side of her head. Her clothes were pure white and her clothing stopped much higher, just above her knees. Golden sandals were laced up to her knees, her shoes also decorated with a wing on each side. A sword hung from a belt at her waist and a white ring of roses rested around her neck. The style of clothing on both of them reminded Nev of classical paintings of Greek and Roman goddesses. Judging by appearances, Nev presumed the blonde woman was Robin's younger sister, Avis, and the other woman was her wife, Flora. Robin bowed to both of them. "Good morning, Lady Flora. I do not mean to trespass, but I have a lady with me who is in need of shelter. This is Nev, she is half-fairy and half-human. Her father is Gwynn. He sent her to me yesterday, but he had intended to reach you." "Gwynn...You said she is half-human?" There was a sadness in Flora's eyes. "I take it who you are running from is one of the ones who hold your father captive. Is that the case, fairy child?" Nev nodded. "He arranged for my birth as well, to use me as a tool. I disappointed him once and he punished me...in ways I cannot say." Flora put her hand to Nev's cheek. She smiled softly. "You do not need to say what was done. You don't have to ever speak of him again, if you don't want to. He cannot reach this place." Robin waved to Nev. "Well, I'll be leaving now. They'll take care of you from here." Nev's heart raced. "Wait, you're leaving already?" "Yes, dear brother, where are you going so soon?" Avis grabbed Robin by his sleeve. "It's been six months since you last visited." "Men aren't supposed to be here, right?" Robin laughed. "You know very well you are not forbidden here. You simply can't enter the main living area without us announcing it first." Avis pulled harder. She narrowed her eyes. "Are you avoiding me, Brother? Or is it Father..." "It's nothing of the sort. I lost track of time. Six days, six months, there's hardly any difference between the two. I'll visit by the next full moon. I'll bring Rowan too." Robin yawned. He rubbed his eyes. "You're hurrying back to sleep, aren't you?" Flora asked, rolling her eyes. "I must confess, that is my intention. I woke up at dawn in case my guest woke early, but you know I don't care for early mornings. If you really want me to visit today, I'll come back around two or three in the afternoon." Robin started to walk away. He turned back to face them once more. "Please take care of her. She has been through much sorrow." A thought occurred to her. She wondered if Gwynn's message about her had included much more information than she thought. How much did Robin know about what happened? She couldn't bring herself to ask. She wanted the words to neither leave her lips nor his. Somehow, she was certain those words entering the air would paint the pain all over her body and mind again. Nev said nothing about it. She waved goodbye to Robin, wondering if or when she might see him again. After Robin left, Avis and Flora led Nev deeper into the woods. Avis asked, "My brother didn't cause you any trouble, did he?" "No, he was very nice." Nev said. She asked a question of her own. "Is it true only one man lives on this island?" Avis nodded. "Ah, yes. That would be my father. We're actually planning on showing you him first. All the women who come here must see him first." "What for?" Nev asked. Flora answered her. "So they will know the face of the only man who is supposed to be here. It is less so that they know him and more that they will know if they see a man who is not him." "Oh, I see. Since he is the only man here, if everyone knows what he looks like, it will be obvious any other man is likely a trespasser." Nev said. She added, "You're brother told me some strange things about your father. That he took your married name. Is that true?" Avis and Flora both laughed. Avis shrugged her shoulders. "Since none of his children can have children with our spouses and all three of us took the surname of our spouses, we effectively ended his family line. He thought it would be even funnier if he made that family name end 'earlier' on the branch by taking one of our new surnames. He picked mine because it being the surname of a daughter was more entertaining to him. I can't explain to you why that amuses him. He finds odd things entertaining." "He was amused at his own bloodline ending?!" Nev was in disbelief. "Well, it's not like it meant much to him anymore. Faolán's biological father is not the man listed on paper as his father." Flora said. "And it's not as if he's in the body that was given that name either." Nev raised an eyebrow at that. "What do you mean?" Avis and Flora exchanged looks. Avis decided to explain. "Well, you see, my father died a long time ago. The first life he lived was a very cursed existence. His father took pity on him and brought him back to life, though his body is different than before. Apparently, when you revive someone back to life with magic, they can return to a similar but not exactly the same form as the previous one they had." "There is magic that can revive the dead...amazing..." Nev wondered if such a thing was possible to learn. She wondered if Gwynn could do such a thing. She doubted it. If he could, she thought, surely he would have revive his wife and his first daughter. "Is your grandfather a powerful sorcerer?" "Conrí can barely do any magic at all, actually. Even he doesn't know how he performed that magic that day. Sometimes, it is like that." Flora stopped at the end of a trail. "Magic can come out of you in response to emotions, often in ways beyond your control." A million questions were popping into Nev's head. Could she learn to do such a thing? Was there a time limit on how recently the person had to have died? Was the body necessary in the revival? She also thought about Delilah, the fake goddess of the Blackwells and the Summerfields. Delilah Blackwell was a real girl, regardless of whether she had any real magic about her. Did the ritual between the families have any basis in some real magic to bring a soul back to the world of the living? Her mind, so shaped by Jen, could not help but think about what such information could mean for them. She pushed the thoughts away, disappointed in her self again that his influence slipped out of the corners of her mind so easily. Nev pushed all her thoughts about magic far away for now. She didn't want to think about those things so long as her mind was still so tied to him. She looked ahead at what was beyond the trail. A small, circular marble structure was before them. It was an open structure, with thin, white curtains as the only privacy it offered. What was beyond those curtains was somewhat visible as shadows. Nev saw the shape of a person, a bed, and some other piece of furniture. "Is this...where your father lives?" Nev asked. "Yes, this is my father's home." Avis took Nev's hand to lead her the rest of the way to the marble structure. Nev took in the details of the space. What Robin described to her appeared to be accurate. The structure would protect her from the rain, but not much else. There didn't appear to be any place for a bathroom or even a sink with running water. There was clearly no electricity. Could she really live in a place like this? Avis pulled back one of the white curtains. Her face went red. "Ex-excuse me...Miss Nev, please look away." Nev was already looking at the man behind the curtain. The man standing before them was pulling clothes out of a dresser while wearing not a single article himself. He appeared stunned by the sudden intrusion. Nev knew she should look away, but her eyes only lingered the more she saw. The man, like his children, had blond, wavy hair. The length of his was the same as Avis's. It clinged messily to his face and shoulders. His and hair were wet, likely, Nev assumed, from having just taken a bath. He was the same height as his tall daughter. He seemed to match her in many ways. That was logical, she told herself. Children generally look similar to their parents. But she couldn't shake the sense that when he returned to life, rather than she having been born with his face, he had returned instead in her image. He did differ in three ways from her. He was male, naturally, being her father. His eyes were not brown like his children, but a brilliant green. The shade perfectly matched the glimmering fairy wings on his back. Momentarily, her eyes met with his. As she gazed into them, she saw him before a waterfall dressed in green and blue, a crown of water lilies around his head. The image faded quickly as she became distracted by the ringing of her heart inside her head and the strange, stinging, warm feeling in her chest. Faolán looked away and turned around. "Ah, if you would please, could you give me a moment to dress myself." "Yes, sorry..." Avis dragged Nev out of the building. She spoke now to Nev. "I am sorry about that. I didn't expect he'd be in such a state. My apologies..." "Oh, no, it's alright. I am not bothered." Nev laughed, her cheeks burning. 'In fact, I wouldn't mind seeing again.' Much as her thoughts related to Jen disturbed her, as did these. She told herself she shouldn't be able to feel such emotions so soon after what had happened to her. 'It's because he is unusually handsome. That's all it is.' Nev told herself. She had never seen a man so beautiful before. She had thought Robin and Rowan had a strange, haunting beauty about them, but Faolán was different. It was as if she had met the most beautiful man on earth. 'Surely anyone seeing someone like that would react in such a way. It doesn't mean I really feel any of those things.' Faolán emerged from behind the curtain, now dressed and his his hair up the same way as Avis's. His sandals did not have wings like hers, not did he wear any accessories in his hair. Nev wondered if the wings on Avis were a reference to her father now possessing a pair on his body. Faolán apologized for earlier. "Forgive me, my lady, for letting you see me in such a state. I wasn't expecting company. I am Faolán, Avis's father." Nev looked in his eyes again, then at the ground. Her face turned a deeper red. "You don't look like you could be the father of someone as old as her." "Well, I have been quite lucky in that my body is now younger in appearance than it was." Faolán smiled. "I should say I don't look any older than twenty-five." He looked at her wings. "I see you also have wings. They're very pretty." "Thank you. Yours are also very pretty." Nev blurted out. She fidgeted with her hands. "Thank you." Faolán said. "I hope you enjoy your stay here. I'm sure Avis has already explained, but this is the portion of the island I dwell at. I do not cross over to the other side unless I've been invited to or there's an emergency. Though, if you would like my company, you are free to come here if you would like. But, uh, please announce yourself before entering my home." "Ah, yes. I will make sure to do that if I visit." Nev glanced at his eyes again. Faolán bowed to her. "Welcome to our island. I hope you enjoy your stay. Oh, I'm sorry. What was your name again?" "My name..." She locked her gaze with him once more, unable to stop herself from getting lost in it. "I am Nev." She didn't want to move from that spot, but she did not know what she wanted either. She told herself she shouldn't think much about that man, but all her thoughts were filling with him. There was no room left for Jen at all. VI. Goldy