IV. Seven of Cups

Luke could barely keep his eyes open. He sensed movement in the room. Alan was already fast asleep in his arms. Some part of him knew he should be alarmed and get up, but he felt so drowsy he couldn't move. A shadowy form moved into view. Through the fog and moonlight, the color red pierced through to his half opened eyes. The figure sat down on the bed. The singing stopped as the fog dissipated into mist. A man with raven hair smiled at Luke. Luke's body felt heavy. He wanted to sit up. He knew he must be dreaming. If he sat up, the dream would end, he was certain. Unable to move, Luke managed the one thing he could do. "Fuck you." The raven haired man laughed. "Well, that's about the greeting I was expecting." "Stop haunting me." Luke said. The man put his hand to Luke's face. "I suppose haunting is what a dead man is meant to do. Is that not the case?" The hand felt too real. It was warm. The skin was as rough as he remembered. "Curse you. Curse you both for leaving me here." Luke's eyes started to close. With all his strength, he forced his hand up to grab hold of the man's wrist. "I loved you." "I love you still, my dear friend." The dark-haired man said. As Luke's eyes closed against his will, the man leaned down to kiss Luke on the forehead. "Sweet dreams, friend. I wish I could speak to you, but you refuse me even in your dreams. Let me join you there." The black haired man rested his head against Luke's chest. He gazed over at Alan who rested a breath away from him. The man hummed a melody. Outside the tower, the moon vanished from the sky behind dark clouds and lightning. In his dreams, Luke was still in bed. He sat up to find the raven haired man beside him. Luke got out of the bed and fled for the door in a room he didn't want to recognize. 'Begone with you. Let me sleep. You are not here anymore!' 'What makes you believe that?' The man asked. 'Did I not tell you to be wary of believing such a thing?' 'Empty words.' Luke turned away from the man. 'All of them were. Wicked devil.' 'If you listened, if you believed, I could...' 'I don't want to listen to you anymore.' Luke yelled. 'Angel-faced devil, with your sweet words of hope. You are Lucifer. Leave me, ghost!' 'If you do not wish to see me anymore, I can leave you. But that isn't really what you wish, is it?' The man took hold of Luke's hand. 'You've already found another to love. Why are you thinking of me, if you do not wish to see me?' Luke didn't answer the man. He pulled his hand away and ran. The familiar room in the familiar castle vanished. He ran through a field he once knew to a place he never wanted to see again. Over a decade had passed since he last wandered there but the rose climbing against the grey stones and the dark, empty hallways were exactly the way they had been when he last set foot in that place. The same snowstorm filled the sky and earth, not quite yet having buried and killed the late blooming flowers or the tracks from departing guests. He was running that day too, instinctively to the only place of power there. That last day, he opened many doors, but he knew which one he needed to find. He opened the door to his father's bedroom. When Luke crossed through the doorway, he was thirteen again. His father was bathing in a tub by the window. Shocked by Luke's frantic entrance, he got out of the tub and covered himself with a robe. 'What's wrong?' He asked. 'Lewis...last...night...he...' Luke's child self could not say what he needed to. He didn't want to cry in front of his father, but the tears came out anyway. 'T-touch...No, I...' His father's face was crystal clear, so clear it didn't seem real. In that moment, he saw fear in his father's eyes for the first and only time. There was pity there too. Luke didn't want the pity of the man who tormented his mother and caused his unfortunate birth. He desperately wanted it more than anything. He could vocalize neither in that moment, nor could he now as the event replayed in his dream. 'Did that man hurt you?' His father asked. 'If he hurt you, I'll kill him.' As soon as the word's left his father's lips, the robe turned red. Blood dripped onto the floor into an ever growing pool. His father held his hands. They burned hot as fire. He had once told that raven haired man about this day and a few others, but Luke had never shared all of it. He couldn't speak of the blood, because he couldn't explain it. He never told anyone about his father collapsing before him and the robe, as it slipped down, revealing a wolf shaped mark on his father's back. 'Do not worry over what you see. You already knew I am a monster.' His father stood back up. 'Get my sword. I can catch up with them on horse.' 'No!' His child self yelled. 'I...he didn't hurt me. I don't need any help. I don't know why I'm here.' 'Luke, it's alright. This is the only thing I'm useful for. He won't hurt you again. I'll make him pay.' 'I don't want your help! I don't even want to be here in this room with you!' Child Luke screamed at his father. 'I hate you more than him!' Luke feared his father would hit him or cast him out. His father simply opened the door for Luke. 'I see. Run along then. He's gone. He won't be back.' Luke stood frozen at the door. 'You're not mad?' 'No.' His father lightly pushed him toward the door. 'Go on. We won't train until you want to.' 'Father...what's wrong with you?' Little Luke asked. 'Unfortunately, it is as they say. I am a monster and no on has slain me yet.' His father said. He started to close the door on Luke. 'Perhaps, when you're older and a great knight, you will slay me.' Adult Luke and child Luke stood in the same place in the hall. Child Luke ran away from the door in tears, an incomprehensible storm of feelings raging inside him that the boy was too young to understand. That day, Luke eventually ran into Martin, who was also visiting, elsewhere in the halls and left with him to serve Philip instead of the king his father served. Luke watched his younger self disappear amongst the shadows and stone grey. Even in a dream, Luke could not admit his real feelings about that day. It burned in his chest. The words stayed locked there in that untamable hellfire, scorching him whenever he let his mind linger on that night and day for long. Luke wanted to run like his child self. Running that day brought him to Philip, to James, to more pain. Where was he supposed to run now? He turned around to see the raven haired man standing there in a dark forest holding Lewis's decapitated head. 'You didn't let Faolán take care of him then, but I saw fit to end that vile man's life when he threatened you again.' Rowan threw the head into the darkness out of view. 'And now you reject me taking care of you. I can set you free.' 'Neither of you can free me.' Luke rejected him once more. 'You're not even here. You're dead and I am dreaming. I am dreaming a foolish, lonely dream. But I could never have you. No, he saw to it to steal you from me before I knew you could be mine.' 'Ah, you are still bitter about that change of fate. Robin told me you and I would have parted ways around this time anyway. Whatever could have ever been between us was always going to end at this point in time.' The man said. He put his hand to his chin. 'Although, something is off. Robin told me Alan should not be in the tower right now. He never should have been. That is quite curious. You should've met him out here, deep in the forest in the coldest night of winter.' 'What does any of that matter? You were supposed to be mine for years! And now, I am left alone and you two are...' Luke's rage turned to sorrow. 'Would you like to see it?' The man took hold of Luke's hands. 'The life you didn't get to live. Do you want to know what threads of fate would have befallen us? Perhaps, if you see, you can let go of me.' 'I don't see how that would help anything.' The raven haired man smiled kindly at him. 'Please, trust me.' Luke resigned to the man. This was a dream, after all, and he knew it. He might as well let his mind's fantasies play out. He was sure he would forget everything at dawn. The forest vanished and the two of them were standing in the middle of a battlefield. The soldiers did not seem to see either of them there. Luke looked around and saw himself. This version of him had his hair braided back. He dressed mostly in black with red accents. Where a rook would normally be on his things, he saw a wolf. Behind his other self, he saw the man with raven hair. The man's hair was much longer, even longer than Luke's hair and tied back in a high ponytail. His clothes were in a similar color scheme to Luke's, but he retained the raven symbol he was always known for. The two of them fought mercilessly, drenching the field with blood and body parts. The other soldiers on both sides did not compare to them. When the battle had been won, the black haired man openly kissed Luke in front of the other soldiers, their bodies painted red from their slain enemies. Luke watched them celebrate with drinking and looting before retiring to a tent to celebrate in a more private way. Their clothes were discarded, but their bodies were still covered in blood. Luke laughed to himself. He had seen the black haired man naked before, but not in this sort of state. He mused that his imagination would make the man he longed for bigger than average. That was only more proof that this was not anything real. He couldn't help but notice the dried blood. The man he knew hated being unclean. He had watched that man wash his hands more than any other person he had ever met. Blood was one of the things that disgusted him the most. He couldn't believe that man would have sex with dry blood on his body. He noticed something else off. When he last saw that man before his death, his black hair had plenty of white strands mixed in. The long haired version of that man before him had jet black hair, with not a single strand any shade lighter. He looked over at the ghost who haunted him. The ghost too did not have any white hair. His crow's feet were gone, but his scars remained. Luke wondered what his mind was wanting with that change. He surmised that it was likely another way he was attempting to give that man more time to live. The scene before them changed. The two lovers were watching new men recruited for another battle. The other Luke pointed to a man who looked around twenty. 'What do you think of that one? He's cute. I bet he's got little experience. What do you say, Rowan? Should we bring him into sin?' 'Hmm. If we approach him together, the battle will be easy. Why don't we have a little competition? The first one to seduce him gets the back and the loser gets the front.' The raven haired man, Rowan, grinned. 'There's more skill needed to make it enjoyable from the front than the back. What do you say? Sound fair?' The other Luke laughed loudly. 'That sounds fair to me. If he's married, I doubt he's gone down on his wife even once. He looks like he'd blow the candles out before taking off his clothes. He probably closes his eyes even in the dark for fear the moon show him something indecent. I hope for your sake he doesn't try using his teeth.' 'I was going to say the same to you.' The other Rowan laughed along with him. He pointed at another man, a priest who looked around Rowan and Luke's age. 'Oh, what about that one? A priest. Shall we damn his soul to hell?' 'Oh, now that is a tasty prospect. Yes, let's have the priest. They're always the dirtiest once you get them to disrobe. Let's find out what nasty secret desires he's hiding.' The other Luke began walking toward the priest. The other Rowan followed him. Luke watched the two of them, ever more convinced of the falsehood of what he was watching. Of course his dream would create a Rowan like this. A Rowan who loved him instead of his more noble brother would have to be rotten. 'What do you think of our romance?' The Rowan he stood beside him asked. 'It's something. I can't see you doing any of this. But you do look good with long hair.' Luke commented. 'You think so? I've been thinking of growing it out.' The Rowan he knew said. Luke forced a smile. 'I'd have loved to see that.' The battlefield faded away. They watched the couple inside Rowan's family castle. The other Rowan argued with his father, King Argus, about marriage. 'You've had enough whoring around. You need to get married. You're in your late twenties and you still don't have an heir!' Argus yelled at Rowan. The other Rowan rolled his eyes. 'Who am I sleeping with? When am I getting married? When am I going to have an heir? All you ever want to talk to me about is what I do with my cock. Do I need to give you a status report every morning of when it rises and falls?' 'You are going to be king one day. You need to act like it or I'll...' Argus began to threaten. The other Luke unsheathed his sword. 'Or you'll what, old man? Need I remind you, I serve your son before anyone. Every morning, if I can help it.' 'You vile sodomite bastard. I could have you executed for...' Argus was cut off by Luke swinging his sword toward the king. 'Now, Luke. There's no need for that.' Rowan unsheathed his own sword and pointed it at his father. 'I can do that myself. Now Father, let me remind you of something. I am a young man and I've killed ten times the men you had in your prime. If you want me to be king so badly, I can answer your prayers right this moment. Is that what you wish for?' 'We will discuss this another day.' Argus backed away. 'I think not. Go stroke your own cock instead of worrying about mine.' The other Rowan put his sword away. The lovers walked down the hall to meet Rowan's younger brother, Wren. In reality, Wren was presently a King, having taken the throne from Argus recently. Wren and Rowan were close before Rowan's death. In Luke's dream, this wasn't the case. Wren angrily ran up to Rowan. 'You threatened him again, didn't you?' Wren shouted. 'What's wrong with you? He's only worried about the kingdom's future.' 'If you're that worried about it, you deal with him. Here.' Rowan threw his own crown at his younger brother. 'It's yours. You go take the throne and marry my woman. I don't want either.' Wren yelled at his brother as Rowan walked away from him. 'Rowan, you can't run away from this! This isn't how things are meant to be done!' Once the other Rowan was out of sight, Wren approached Luke. 'I don't understand what you see in him.' 'We are quite similiar, he and I.' The other Luke joked. Wren shook his head. 'You were a noble knight when you arived here. He's changed you to be like him. You're better than this. You're actually a good person.' 'You're too kind to me, Prince Wren. I've always been filth.' Luke said to him. Wren looked down at the crown. Red rose in his cheeks. 'No, I know you're good. This, this act is what's fake. You should leave him. If I were in his place, I wouldn't make you act like this.' The other Luke took the crown and placed it on Wren's head. He took the prince's hand and kissed it. 'Forget about me. Go marry Rosabella and live a noble life as a great king.' Wren's face went a deeper red. He felt over the crown on his head and locked eyes with Luke. 'They call you the Death Wolf, but I know you are an angel sent from God. I pray you find someone better to love who will let the real you be free.' Luke turned to the Rowan who was watching with him. 'Death Wolf? Oh, is that my nickname in this fake fate?' 'So it would have been. The people would've said, wherever you went, you caused a little death and a lot of death. As for me, I was still a raven. The Hell Raven, a beast dragged up from the depths of hell.' Rowan turned to Luke as the scenery around them changed once more to a battlefield. 'What do you think? Do you think it would suit me more than the Bloody Raven?' 'Neither feels right for you.' Luke looked out at all the soldiers. It was winter. He could see the breath of the soldiers, but not his own. 'What now?' 'We are nearing the moment when our romance shall end.' Rowan answered. He pointed to himself across the field. On the other side of the field was someone Luke recognized. He saw King Ruaidhrí, the man known as the Red King. They had been on opposite sides of the war. Ruaidhrí fell to Rowan's blade in a similar field. The battle began. This time, the events were reversed. He watched Ruaidhrí cut Rowan down, disemboweling him. The other Luke defended Rowan from further attacks as Rowan scooped up his own intestines off the ground. Luke pushed Ruaidhrí back enough to grab Rowan and carry him away into the forest. 'It's fine. You don't need to run any farther. I'm done for.' Rowan held what he could not put back inside himself against his body. The other Luke was crying. 'No, I won't let Death have you. Never. Even if it kills me.' 'Luke, there's nothing you can do. I don't have much longer...' Rowan touched Luke's cheek with a bloodied hand. His eyes were dull. The other Luke stopped running. He gently sat down on the ground, holding Rowan against himself. 'Stay with me...' 'I can't...I'm glad it was you with me at the end.' Rowan's breathing slowed. 'Kiss me, please...' The lovers shared one last kiss before the prince's breathing stopped. The other Luke cried out in agony, holding the cooling body close against himself. Luke looked over at a frozen river near them. He put his hand against the ice. 'Please, hear me. I've never asked anything of you. Please, Brother, I know you are living among the old ones. If you can hear me, please come to me. Please. I only have on favor to ask you as your little brother.' A voice called out. 'Human brother. It has been a long time since I last saw you. What do you call me for?' Luke looked around to search for the voice, searching for anything to take his thoughts away from the gory scene before him. He saw another familiar face, his deceased brother. He looked different. His hair was cut short. He dressed in blue robes and his feet were bare against the snow. Gold bracelets, anklets, necklaces, earrings, and belts decorated him. He wore a crown of water lilies and citrine. Light beams extending from his back made the appearance of false wings. Two of the earrings he wore at the top of his ears gave his ears the illusion of being pointed. The other Luke bowed to his brother. 'Robin, please. Please, help him. I'll give anything. Even my life.' Luke's older brother knelt down to look at the dead body. 'He has already met his end. You wish me to defy Death for you?' 'Whatever it takes...I'll accept responsibility for it, if it's a crime. I offer you my soul. Anything. Please, please, save him.' Luke begged Robin. Robin took the body from Luke. 'There is no need for that. The laws of magic decree if one has the ability to, then it is not defiance. It is fate. Well, so long as I don't do it too often anyway.' Robin placed his hands over Rowan's abdomen. A bright light covered Rowan, then faded. When the light left, Rowan's body was healed. He began to breathe again. Then, he opened his eyes. He locked his gaze with Robin's. 'This is where it ends.' The Rowan watching said. 'I don't understand. He revived you. Why would our relationship end?' Luke asked. Rowan put his hand on Robin, who did not react to him. Robin only stared at the other Rowan. Rowan spoke to Luke as they watched the three before them. 'Once you encounter your soulmate, you will not be separated for long. In that moment, I was caught by his soul as much as he was captured by mine. It is the nature of souls. It cannot be defied, no matter how hard the two may attempt to. To meet one's other half is to lose one's mind until death. But it is a madness the two eclipsed within it enjoy, regardless of the agony it brings them.' The forest shifted to a cottage deeper in the woods. The other Rowan and Luke were arguing while Robin apologized. 'I didn't know that would be who you brought me, Brother. I never intended this. I'm already engaged! What will I tell Alan...What have I done...' Robin paced back and forth. Luke recalled everything his brother told him once before about these events. Before his death, Robin had revealed he saw his own future predicted for him and then changed the course to be with Rowan sooner. His dream was creating a story around that of what that might have looked like, Luke told himself. Alan was getting to play a role in the story now. He wondered what strange version of Alan his mind would make up. 'Robin, what's the matter?' A man with long, sandy brown hair came out of the cottage. He was dressed in green and white. Like Robin, he wore a lot of jewelry and no shoes. Luke realized who he was once the man got closer into view. How could he not recognize Alan's face? Time skipped forward to after Alan had been informed of the situation. Alan sobbed in a chair inside the cottage while Robin apologized to him on his knees. The romance between the other Luke and the other Rowan came to an end at the same time as the one between Robin and Alan. Rowan and Robin announced their plans to live together. 'Over that quickly? You're cruel.' Luke commented to the Rowan who stood with him. 'Yes. That madness can make you quite cruel.' Rowan said. He pointed to the other Luke sitting near Alan, who was now crying outside the house. 'I am much crueller than you. You took a year before you and Alan became lovers. I took one second to fall for Robin.' The other Luke spoke softly to Alan. 'I'm sorry. I've caused all this. I only wanted to save my lover. And now he's with someone else and I've ruined your wedding plans.' Alan wiped his face off. 'It's not your fault. I can't blame you for trying to save someone you loved. Robin told me you even offered him your soul. How could I possibly blame you?' 'What will you do now? This is your house too, isn't it?' The other Luke asked. Alan sighed. 'It's my land, actually. The house and the cave beneath it belong to me. He moved in with me a year ago. And now he's shared my bed with another man. But I can't be mad at him.' 'Well, I don't see why the hell not. I'm furious.' The other Luke said. Alan laughed under his breath. 'There's nothing we can do. They're soulmates. I can't compete with that sort of bond. I don't want to ruin his happiness either. Perhaps, it's time I move.' 'You're going to give them the house?' The other Luke asked. Alan stood up. 'I don't really want to live there anymore. Your man doesn't have anything to offer him in terms of assets either. They can have it. I think I'll travel for a bit on my own. What about you? Where will you go?' The other Luke dusted himself off and stood beside Alan. 'I've got nowhere to go. Would you mind if I joined you?' 'It would be nice to have some company.' Alan said. Luke watched as several events played out before him. The other Luke and Alan traveled through both the human and fairy realms, across kingdoms and seas. Once the sadness faded, the Alan in his dream looked and sounded much more confident than the one outside his dream. Unlike with Rowan, he thought the real Alan with shorter hair was more attractive than the long haired version in his dream. The real Alan would likely be happy to travel too. Luke watched the seasons pass through familiar and unfamiliar places. The other Luke and Alan grew closer gradually during their travels An unspoken tension was building between them. As Rowan had stated, after one year, the other Luke asked Alan to be his lover. Alan accepted and offered a gift. 'I wanted to give you this gift. I've given it to your brother already...I'm not sure if I regret that or not, but I can't take it back. I was...hoping I won't regret this time.' Alan's face was red. Luke assumed something dirty was was about to happen, but his dream went in a different direction. Alan took out a knife and cut his palm. 'If we mix our blood, I can give you my magical abilities. We will be bound together until death.' 'What does that mean for you and Robin?' The other Luke asked. 'Well, it doesn't have to be a romantic bond. It can be friendship or allyship instead. I had...hoped it would have been a romantic bond...That's in the past now. Will you accept my gift?' Alan asked. The other Luke cut his palm. 'I don't know anything about magic. But I'd be honored to be given something special by you.' The two pressed their palms together. A purple light appeared around their hands. Alan kissed Luke. 'Now, you are one of us. If you'll accept it, I have a second gift.' 'What's the second one?' The other Luke asked. 'Eternal life.' Alan kissed Luke once more. 'You don't have to stay with me for all of that time. You can come to hate me and I won't revoke this gift from you. Will you accept? Would you like me to give you eternity?' 'Are you immortal? The other Luke asked. 'I wasn't born that way, but I have also been gifted it. I can give you that same gift, if you want it.' Alan said. 'I'd really rather not die.' The other Luke said. He felt over the cut he made into his own palm. 'Death got me into this. It'd probably be for the best if I avoid him as long as possible.' Luke watched his false alternative life, seeing the visions before him as an interesting fantasy. 'Immortality? I would never be so lucky to receive anything like that. Haven't you tormented me enough for one night, Ghost?' 'Luke, I haven't come to torment you. I've come to ease your soul and set you free. But you must open up.' Rowan said. The people and places around them disappeared. Rowan reassured Luke. 'This will all be a bad memory one day. I'll see you when you bring him to the lands beyond where humans can reach. I'll show you more another night. There is much for you to think on already.' 'If you're really alive, show me a sign when I wake. It must be beyond a doubt you.' Luke started to cry. 'What am I saying? You're dead. I'm dreaming. When I wake up, you'll still be gone.' 'Luke, please listen.' Luke shook his head. 'Please, stop tormenting me with your false presence. My heart breaks again each time I see you.' Rowan looked down at Luke, who remained deep in sleep. he wiped away Luke's tears. "Forgive me for breaking your heart again. I'll ensure you get your happy ending. It'll only be a little while longer." Alan sat up. "You are real!" Rowan smiled at Alan. "Yes, quite so. But he refuses to be believe that. His heart is shutting me out." "I knew you were a real fairy prince." Alan said. Rowan shook his head. "I'm no fairy, nor am I a prince anymore. I am merely a human. Although I'm not sure of that anymore either." "Well, you're a prince to me. Have you come to rescue us?" Alan asked. "I'm afraid I don't have the power to do that on my own, nor does my beloved." Rowan reached over to Alan and touched his face. "But fear not. I will ensure you have the strength to free yourselves in time. I've brought gifts for you." "Gifts?" Rowan unclasped the cloak he was wearing and handed it to Alan. The cloak was red on one side and lined with a white fur on the other. He handed Alan a bag containing a set of clothes and new shoes. After that, Rowan got up from the bed. He unbuckled the belt around his waist and handed it, and the sword and sheath attached to it, to Alan. "New clothes to protect you, from weather and wickedness. And a a weapon for you to defend yourself with. The king here will never allow Luke to bring a weapon in here. But he cannot prevent me from doing so. Have Luke train you in how to use that." Alan unsheathed the sword. The hilt was decorated with a dragon and rowan flowers. "Oh, this flower. You gave me a branch of these before in a dream. What is the name of it?" "Rowan." He said. "So, that is your name. The sound of your name is quite a pretty color." Alan glanced over at Luke. "Is he the one you told me was coming?" "Yes. Please be patient with him. I promise you he is a good person." Rowan said. Alan put the sword down. He hugged Rowan. "I know. Will you come to visit again?" "I'll have to come when he is sleeping. He doesn't want to see me in his dreams. If I show myself to him when he is awake, he'll convince himself he's gone mad." Rowan kissed him on the cheek. "I'll come again the next full moon, before dawn." Alan blushed. He wasn't sure what the kiss implied. He would need to ask Luke later. "Why are you helping me?" "I swore to him I would be loyal to our friendship for all of eternity. I intend on keeping that promise, even if he won't see me. But also, you...you remind me of myself when I was little and I used to dream in secret that a beautiful knight in shining armor would rescue me one day. My knight did come for me. I thought I'd make another prince happy in the same way." Rowan placed a crown on Alan's head. The crown was made of rowan flowers, berries, and leaves. "One last gift before I leave. A prince should have a crown." When Luke finally woke, the strange fog had long cleared up. Disoriented from dreaming, he momentarily forgot where he had gone to sleep at. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. He needed to get their food for the day. "Alan, are you awake yet?" "Luke, look. My fairy prince visited me. He gave me gifts." "What?" Luke looked over. He saw Alan standing by the window wearing new clothes, a red cloak with fur that did not look like it came from any animal he knew of, a crown of flowers, and a sword at his side. He got up from the bed. "Where did...how?!" "I told you. My fairy prince came. I know his name now." Alan removed the crown and showed it to Luke. "This. You know this flower, don't you?" "Yes." Luke went cold. "It's a rowan." V. The Devil