VIII. Rowan

There was much work to do. Rowan removed Jen's clothing. He looked over the man's body, taking note of past injuries and new ones. Under the skin, he noticed movement. The left leg had at least three different areas of movement and the abdomen seemed to contain something quite large and writhing. He sensed there was far more life inside the body than what he could see. The crescent-shaped light delicately sliced open Jen's body, opening up his chest, his arms, legs, and the top of his skull. What he saw inside sickened him. Inside the brain, ancient leeches drained life from the brain. The leeches were black with a glowing blue stripe down their backs and a green glow on their underside. They emitted a foul, sulfuric smell. Rowan recognized them from a book his husband owned. It was a species even fairies thought was nearly or very likely extinct. The leeches had been used by humans in ancient times to amplify the magical abilities they gained from making bodily deals with other beings. Elves and dragons had largely eradicated the species on purpose, as the leeches had other, more dangerous properties to them. When left on the body for extended periods of time, the body became physically weaker and the brain began to rewire itself into disturbing thought patterns. Rowan understood right away what the intended reason for the leeches being there was. To choose the brain as the location meant the person who put them there was attempting to maximize the magical amplification. This would come at a cost of the side effects of the leeches living there also being amplified. Rowan killed creatures upon sight, pulling them off the brain by trapping them in balls of water and then destroying them by turning the water into flames. He let the flames burn until nothing remained of the creatures. When the leeches died, a chorus of pain echoed out from Jen's abdomen. A serpent rose out of Jen's intestines, its body thicker around than the organs it had hidden itself amongst. Vines extended out from the same place, crawling out of the body and extending off the bed, searching or anything living to cling to. A small, blackened hand with long claws and scaled skin reached out for him from where it was fused to one of Jen's ribs. A smaller hand, rotting green in shade, clawed from inside the rib cage, too small to reach beyond that space. Strands of what looked to be hair stood up straight from the stomach. Worms more ancient than the leeches moved inside the left leg while a thorny plant with a toothy mouth reared up out of the right one. A thick, gooey substance oozed out of the plant's mouth. Where the substance dripped onto Jen's skin, burn marks appeared. Coming down through Jen's neck and out his chest, two more snaked heads appeared. These were thinner and shorter than the one living in the intestines and lighter in color, a pale blue. As the heads came out further from the neck, Rowan realized they shared one body and a set of wings. Stranger creatures slid along the muscles inside the body. He counted over ten different small body forms he had never seen before until that day. Their bodies were malleable and brightly colored, shifting forms quickly. Rowan could not tell if these ten body types were all one species, several, one entity, or many. Living beings were not all Rowan saw inside. Dismembered fingertips with claws were embedded into the radius and ulna in both arms, the sharp ends of the claws laid like tracks in the space between the two bones. Metal and stones with engravings were lodged into both humeri. The spaces where the objects were place appeared to have been hollowed out by human hands. The sternum had etches on it, words and symbols. On the manubrium, it read: "FROM THE BLACK WELL UNDER THE RAIN THE POWER OUR GODDESS KING" Beneath the words, carved into the gladiolus, was a downward pointing sword surrounded by a ring of holly and rowan flowers and a lion beneath it all. Rowan recognized the sword as a crude depiction of the one he left behind to his younger brother, Wren. He laughed in disgust. On the lower half of the body, he saw dragon scales shoved into muscle and fused into bones. Metal chains, thin and delicately made, twisted around the ankle, weaving between muscle and bones. Protruding from the patella, two unmatched, moving eyeballs rotated around. Rowan sensed souls bound inside the eyeballs. The heart, beating feebly, was covered in thin frost. One by one, Rowan killed all that lived inside Jen, then worked to remove what was fused or embedded inside him. He would need to regrow bone to fix all of it. When he thought he had killed and removed everything, another wave of creatures made their presence known. "How are there this many living inside you?!" Rowan asked. He cut back some of the muscle to look more closely at the bones. So much hid inside Jen's bones. Rowan wasn't sure how to remove it all. He spoke. "Robin, come to me." Behind him, a blond man dressed in blue stood. The blond man asked, "What's wrong? Why did you call me here?" Rowan turned back to face his beloved. He motioned at Jen's body. "Look. A descendant of Wren's. Look at how much feeds upon him. How do I fix this?" Robin took a look. He recoiled, putting his hand to his mouth. He nearly vomited. "What is this...who would...who would do such a thing...This man did this to himself willingly?!" "I'm not so sure about that. Some of this is in the body quite deep. It's as if the body has grown with these. I suspect he might have been a child for some of this." Rowan said. "How horrid." Robin came closer to get a better look. "I've already killed many of them, but more came out after." Rowan moved the crescent light above his own head. He tapped his temples. "Look into my memories later. I saw some creatures I am nearly positive are far too ancient for an ordinary human to ever encounter." Robin picked up the skullcap and healed it back in place on the top of Jen's head. He put his hand on Jen's head and closed his eyes. "What has your family been up to? I didn't think the ones living close to the old castle were disturbed like this." "The ones who carried my family name have all left this place behind for the New World. The ones of my blood who remain here carry your old family name. This man, I could tell by his accent, is not from here. I haven't kept up with what they've been doing." Rowan said. He put his hand on Jen's forehead. "It would seem they've become quite disturbed since leaving here." Robin stepped back and raised his hands. He slipped slightly. Robin looked down to see what was on the ground. Shattered, iridescent clear stones littered the floor. Robin's blood went cold. He picked up some of the shards. He was unable to say anything, but his thoughts and feelings rang loudly in Rowan's mind. "I released the spirit. The horn had been made into a pair of spectacles." Rowan said. Robins demeanor turned cold. He walked over to Jen, then summoned a sword into the air. He aimed it for Jen's heart. Rowan blocked the tip of the blade with the tip of his index finger. "Calm yourself. We do not know if he is the one who did it, or if he even understands what was done. We don't know what he's been through yet. He may indeed be an evil man, or he may be an ignorant one. I will judge him when he wakes. I've avoided healing one part of him for that very reason." Rowan lifted the sword up and moved it away from Jen. He pointed between Jen's legs. "I am curious how he received such an injury. It's left him infertile. I may leave him that way." "You can simply kill him." Robin stated without remorse. "I might." Rowan covered both of Jen's eyes with his hands. "But there are many shades in between good and evil. For now, please help me rid him of these monstrosities. I will see what I can observe of his memories through his dreams and see how he is when he wakes. Then, I'll decide what to do with him." "Very well, but I think you are being far too kind." Robin returned to his previous pose. A ring of fire surrounded them. Robin closed his eyes and concentrated. All the beings and body parts, the living and the dead, dislodged from Jen's body and rose into the air. The living that could screamed and howled, roared and shrieked. Each was pulled into the flames and burned until not even ash remained. When the fires went out, one thing remained. The frost. "What is this?" Rowan asked. "Proof he is not worth living." Robin said. He moved his hands over the body and closed up everything except the chest. "My grandfather told me about this. You see it in the souls of the most wicked, the ones he cuts down with his scythe. They are the only ones who cannot go to the realm of the dead and must have their souls destroyed, for if left with others, they will devour them even in death. From spark of life to the soul itself, they will consume it all and never be full. There is no remedy you can give him. He would need to heal himself of his wickedness. It would best if I called my grandfather now and had him do it." "Is it possible to heal oneself from this?" Rowan asked. "Is he truly doomed?" "My grandfather told me, for all the souls he has encountered, he only met two who changed course." "Is your father one of them?" Robin shook his head. "No, my father always felt guilt for the wicked things he did. Those who are full of shame, guilt, and regret become ghosts. When these kind die, they have long lost the ability to feel guilt over anything. If you kill him now, he might merely turn into a ghost and be saved in time. Letting him live will almost certainly doom his soul." "There is a chance that won't be though." "Rowan..." Rowan healed the chest closed. "I know, I know. Let me look inside and I will make my choice. You'll have to forgive me if it's a foolish one." "I suppose I can't expect you to destroy a remnant of your brother." Robin sighed. He leaned down and kissed Rowan on the cheek. "I'll wait for your return at home. Do not linger here long. This place distorts the mind." "I won't be long." Rowan closed his eyes. He hummed a lullaby as his mind showed him the dream Jen was having. 'Show me...what lies inside you...what binds you...' Rowan saw a young Jen strapped down to a table engraved with ancient symbols and incantations. His mouth was gagged. A group of adults dressed in all white stood around him, cutting him open. Jen's muffled screams filled the room. An old man entered the room with a cage holding the two headed beast Rowan saw earlier. Beside the man entered a face Rowan recognized. 'Gwynn?' Rowan saw the shackles on the fairy. He understood at once what that meant. Anger burned inside him. The old man placed the cage on the table with the boy. Then, he grabbed Gwynn by the hair. 'Fairy, keep him alive.' The old man drew a sword from his side. Rowan recognized that as well. He couldn't possibly forget it. It was once his own. The blade was given to him on his fifteenth birthday by the knight who trained him to fight, Sir Ronan. Rowan left it behind when he abandoned the human world. The sword then was wielded by his younger brother, Wren, before being passed down to Wren's younger son, Leon. The men in white began chanting while the old man used the sword to cut the boy's chest open. Gwynn positioned himself at the opposite end of the table of the old man, standing where Jen's head was. The fairy put his hands on Jen and covered him in light. The screams lessened. Around the people in white, a ring of shadows formed. One of the men opened the metal cage and freed the beast. The old man stabbed the sword into the sternum. He recited the words engraved on it. Jen screamed loudly, his body writhing on the table. The beast dove into the chest and slid into the neck. 'Fairy, seal the body shut.' The old man ordered. Gwynn healed the chest. The boy's face was covered in tears. The room shifted to another, a kitchen. Gwynn was there too. He leaned down and opened a cabinet. Inside, a little boy was hiding. The boy said, 'Don't tell them I'm in here. I don't want to go.' Gwynn picked up the child. 'Let's go. They'll surely find you in here. I'll hide you at the edge of the property.' The fairy took the boy deep into a wooded area. They were found soon anyway by one of the men who had been present at the ritual. The man grabbed Gwynn by the wrist and beat him down. 'How many times do I need to do this to you? Do not interfere. The guests are already here.' The man said angrily as he slapped Gwynn's head against the ground. 'Father, please stop. I'll go. I'm sorry.' The little boy cried. 'No, he needs to be punished.' The man undid the front of his pants and exposed himself. Gwynn looked up. 'Punish me, but spare his eyes from this.' 'What for? He knows my taste as well as you do.' The man said. Gwynn reached over and sent Jen back to the kitchen. It wasn't long before Jen was found and taken to the same room again. A woman told him, 'Sit in the chair and be good now.' There was no chanting this time, and no white robes. No one was dressed at all. The children were placed in the middle of the room for the adults to choose from, sitting in a circle on tiny chairs. Young women were in another group for a different set to violate. Jen shivered in the center of all the children, hiding his face behind a blond boy's body. Jen's father took to where the children stood. He gleefully announced, 'Break them as much as you desire, but do not kill them. The fairy can fix bones and broken skin, but he cannot revive the dead. If you've gotten a bit too carried away, call for the fairy to be sent in. He'll have them ready to go again in seconds.' Time moved forward. Jen appeared to be a young man now. He was arguing with his father. 'I'm not having Jennifer participate in that. She's my wife, not yours.' 'Oh, you think you're a man now because you're married? You've only just turned eighteen this morning and your wedding was an hour ago. You dwell within my walls.' The man said. 'This is all our walls. Your father is the one who runs the family right now, not you.' Jen argued with him. 'If you need a woman to offer up to those monsters, you can send your own wife.' 'I have many times. You know that. But your mother is too old now. I need a younger beauty. It's not like I'm taking a virgin bride from you. That seal has long been broken. What do you even care? You can't get her pregnant. If we're lucky, someone else will and you can pretend to have an heir.' His father said, laughing. Jen slapped him across the face. His father's face went red with rage. He grabbed Jen's wrists and forced him onto a table. The man beat Jen with all of his strength. When Jen gave up on fighting back, the man moved on from physical violence to sexual. Jen tried to fight back again. He screamed through tears. 'Stop! You said I'm too old. You said I don't have to do this anymore!' The man laughed again. 'You're too old for the parties. I can do whatever I want to you until you die, because I am your father. Don't ever forget that. Now, you're going to send Jennifer in there or this is going to hurt a lot worse.' Jen spit in the man's face. The man was so rough with him, Jen was left unable to walk when he was done. Despite his efforts, his father dragged Jen's new wife into the room with the others, her wedding gown still on her. He heard her screams through the door. The fairy found Jen on the floor. Gwynn was already in tears. He quickly healed Jen. 'I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry...' 'For what? You're powerless.' Jen lay on the ground. He stared up at the ceiling. 'You're utterly powerless. Even more than me. More than...more than me...' 'Jen?' Gwynn asked. 'Are...are you alright? Does something hurt still?' Jen got up from the ground. 'You are bound by magic to not be able to hurt me. No matter what.' 'Yes, that is part of my binding to your family.' 'Power. I will not be powerless.' Jen pushed Gwynn onto the ground and began to undress. Gwynn's eyes widened. Then, he looked away. He did not fight back. He only cried. When he was done violating Gwynn, Jennifer was still screaming in the other room. Jen sat dazed beside Gwynn, who lay on the ground. Jen said, eyes empty. 'When they're done with her, heal her well. I want my turn too. It's my wedding night. I'm supposed to be the one. I'm supposed to...' 'I will.' Gwynn said. 'I'm sorry.' Jen whispered. Gwynn did not respond. 'If I get him more girls, pretty girls...surely, he won't need Jennifer...I can find pretty girls...' Jen muttered to himself. He rocked back and forth. 'I'm too old. You promised me...' Rowan pulled away his touch. He couldn't bare to see anymore. He was too disturbed by what little he already saw. "Dear god, they've defiled your name and honor, Brother. How can these monsters share your name and blood?" Rowan wiped a stray tear from his face. He spoke with one of the Ó Rinn family members taking care of the castle and asked them to bring fresh clothes for Jen. He instructed them to look for anything suspicious in the area and if they found anything, to let him know but not linger near it. In the graveyard, one of the family members found a strange, black circle burned into the ground. The circle was filled with a black gooey liquid. Rowan cleansed the area by fire, then returned to Jen's side. Jen did not wake for several more hours. When he woke, he sensed his body was different. Normally, he felt some of the movements of the beings that had been inside it. He couldn't feel the serpent. That one always hurt a little when it moved around. He looked over at Rowan and screamed. "Put them back! PUT THEM BACK!'" "No. They were destroying you." Rowan answered. "I don't care. I need them!" Jen got out of the bed. He knelt down and pulled at Rowan's shirt. He begged. "Please, put them back. I'll do anything you want. You can fuck me. Beat me. Whatever you want. Anything." "Do you know who I am?" Rowan lightly pushed him away. "You are the older brother of Wren Blackwell, the one who faked his death." Jen answered. "Then you know we are related. I'm not interested in having sex with a descendant of my little brother." Rowan said. "Though I think my husband would very much like to beat you." "Please, let him. If he can put them back, he can beat me as much as he likes." Jen was brought to tears. "Please, I need their power." "For what?" Rowan asked. "To survive. I need them. I need the most power, or I'll be destroyed." Rowan pitied the man. He was disgusted and disturbed by him, but he could understand him in a way too. Rowan made his decision. He would not heal that one last part, nor would he end the man's life. "Is that right? I've decided I'll let you live, but I give you a warning before I leave." Jen froze. "Live?" "I've decided against it, though I may regret it." Rowan said. "I was not able to remove everything from inside you. One remains inside your heart. Something cold and wicked. You can banish it from yourself, or let it consume you until Death cuts down your soul. If you let it consume you, you will likely know even greater power than you do now, you will lose all feelings of guilt and shame, and the world will be yours to devour. And devour it, you shall. For in exchange for power and violence, love will leave you. You will destroy everything, even in death. Is this the power you wish for?" "The scythe...will send me to them...back to those monsters..." Jen mumbled. "Back to...what are you talking about?" Rowan asked. "I know the monster you speak of. Am I really turning into that?" Jen asked. "Yes. Disengage from everything magical that you've used for power. Each will help it grow inside you." Rowan warned him. "But I...I need one of them. I captured a firebird. My life depends on eating its flesh. Without it, I will be mortal. And my wife as well. You would have me shorten her life?" Jen asked. "What must be done is what must be done." Rowan said. "But you...how did you do it? You have immortality, don't you?" Jen pulled at Rowan's shirt again. "Tell me your secret." "My husband's fairy mother gifted it to me as a wedding present when I married her son. Many can give such a gift in that realm, but you cannot enter there. I saw through your mind what you've done to a friend of mine. No fairy will ever give you such a gift if they find out what you and your kin have been doing." Rowan pushed him away again. "Reject your foolish games of power and live as an ordinary man. Then, your heart and soul will be saved." "How close am I to becoming a monster?" Jen asked. Rowan looked down at the pitiful man before him. "Only you know the answer to that. I've spared you and healed you. Your mind should be a little clearer now. The creatures they had living on your brain warp thoughts. But you have had them for so long, I am afraid you might come to find your own memories more disturbing than before. Use your new clarity to push back what lies in your heart." Jen noticed the coldness inside his chest. It felt like an ice cube was stuck in his rib cage. "Where is the deepest darkness?" "What?" Rowan asked. "Maa." "Fool. Do not speak of that. You cannot control that, no matter what power you gain. Go home to your wife and live a quiet life." Rowan turned away from him. "And while you're there, free Gwynn. I am unable to do it myself, but I am certain you could arrange for it. Though I suppose I could accomplish it by killing every single one of you on across the sea until I would become his master." "Please...I will find a way in time...I swear!" Jen lied. He had no interest in that. "You had better. Farewell, foolish nephew." Rowan walked through the bedroom door and vanished. Jen was afraid of what Rowan might have told the Ó Rinn family about him. He quickly left after gathering up the bones he collected and boarded a plane home. He didn't care for planes. He preferred travelling by boat, as he liked the sea. But he couldn't argue with a plane being much faster and he wanted to get away from that place as fast as he could. When he returned home, it was late. He brought the bones to his personal lab before heading to his bedroom. There, he found Jennifer, both of the elves, and Gwynn were there. Jennifer was sitting on the bed, reading a pamphlet. Lazuli was sitting with her, attaching a golden anklet on Jennifer's ankle. Lapis was talking with Gwynn, the two of them sharing a salad. Everyone in the room froze when they saw Jen. Jen's eyes focused on Gwynn. Gwynn's hair had grown much longer, become thicker, and wavier at the ends. Midway down to the tips, his hair darkened from pure white to blue. Gwynn's normally dull, dark eyes were full of light. His skin was brighter, warmer in color. His wings were a bright blue. They were flashing with light and sparks of light fell from the wings. His hair was also braided in places and well combed. Jewelry decorated every part of him. Heat rose in Jen's face. "Gwynn...what...what happened to you?" Jen asked. Lazuli answered. "Ah, we gave him some treatments. He has a sickness that cannot be easily cured, but we are able to keep it at bay. It seems the treatments are working well." "I see...Yes, you did mention to me you were ill before. But what is all this jewelry? Is his part of the treatment?" Jen looked to Lapis for answers. Lazuli answered again. "No, we've been testing what metals are in the ground here and using the bits we find to keep our skills polished. Jewelry requires a lot of precision. We've been giving the pieces to the fairy and your dear wife when we're done with our practice work." "Oh, I see. So, it is to keep your metal magic strong. Interesting. Then, continue on with that." Jen nodded. He looked over at Jennifer. When they last spoke, it was on bad terms. But when he saw her again, he wanted to hold her. "You look beautiful." Jennifer looked up at him, then away. Her face flushed. "Thank you." "It's quite late now. I'd like to turn in for the night. The three of you can go to your beds. I'll see you in the morning." Jen motioned toward the door. The three of them quickly left the room, none of them wanting to get Jen's attention. Jen closed the door and locked it. He took his shoes off. "I was going to take a shower before bed. Did you want to join me?" "Ah, no. I already showered." Jennifer answered. "Alright. Did you eat dinner yet?" Jen asked as he undressed. "Yes. A few hours ago." She said, drawing her legs in closer to her body. Jen noticed her change in behavior. He sensed her fear. He also sensed a part of him was getting excited about it, but the excitement was dulled. He felt disturbed at his reaction, then confused that he was disturbed. Jennifer put her book down. She tilted her head. "Your scars...are all gone. Even the wound is gone...What did you do?" "I was healed. Well, mostly." Jen took his pants off. "He said there were some things he couldn't do anything about. I'll tell you more about it later. It was quite a strange trip..." "I see." She picked the book back up and continued to read. Jen felt a warm, stinging pain in his chest. He couldn't recognize at first what it was. It had been a long time since he felt it. Then, he realized what it was. Sadness. Jen went into the bathroom and got in the shower. He washed himself off. He stared down between his legs at one of the two places his ancestor had left unchanged. Normally, it filled him with anger. In that moment, he felt embarrassment and ugliness. He didn't want anyone to see that part of his body. For the first time since he was a teenager, he wondered on what Jennifer really thought about his appearance. 'She must think it's disgusting...' Insecurities piled into his thoughts one by one. He remembered how he always thought he wasn't attractive enough for Thomas or Jennifer, how he was the least attractive of his siblings, how he was the shortest amongst his brothers, how his body was disgusting. The thoughts flowed in and wouldn't go away. Memories of what happened to him when he was young and what happened to Jennifer came in next, then all the things he did to Jennifer and so many other people. Words he used like poison on others became poison inside his mind. He felt so sick his stomach hurt and he became weak in the knees. Jen threw up in the shower. He curled up against the wall and shook. The images wouldn't stop flowing in. Jen never thought about the past much before. He actively avoided it, only digging through it to find psychological daggers to throw at other people. 'Why is this happening to me?' Jen cried silently under the water. 'Is it because of what he took out of me?' Jen stayed there until he could calm himself enough to stop crying. Jennifer was already under the covers. She didn't change into her nightgown. She had been sleeping in her clothes like that for a few weeks before Jen left. He wanted to cuddle and have sex, but he knew Jennifer wouldn't want to sleep with him right then. He decided not to try and initiate anything. He got ready for bed. Jen noticed one of Jennifer's pamphlets on the dresser. He picked it up. Jen felt something in his throat, but it was a strange feeling. Normally, what was there wriggled and slid around. This sensation stayed caught midway. "Do you want a divorce?" "What?" Jennifer sat up. Jen saw the fear in her eyes. "I'm not mad. It's okay. I know...you're not in love with me anymore. I can't blame you for that. I wouldn't love me either." Jen put the little booklet back down. "I'll sign the papers. I won't make it difficult." "I don't know." Jennifer couldn't face him. "I don't have anywhere to go." "Neither do I." Jen sat down at his desk across the room from her. "You know, it's strange. I've been trying to avoid death all this time, but we don't really know anyone anymore. Not that I miss most of those people, but everything...everything from when we were young doesn't exist anymore. I don't really like this place either, or anything new. Is this how the fairy feels being around humans?" "I don't know." "Do you miss your family?" Jen asked. Jennifer lowered her voice. "I miss Jenny." "I'm sorry about Jenny." "You're not." "I am." Jen looked out the window. A crescent moon was shining on him. He remembered the crescent light Rowan created. "You know, if we get a divorce, you won't be part of my family anymore. The fairy can send you to Jenny." "She won't want to see me. She shouldn't have to see me." Tears fell from Jennifer's face. "Can I come to the bed?" Jen asked. "There's something wrong with me. I wanted to talk to you about it." "Something must be wrong. Since when do you ask permission of anyone?" Jennifer looked at him strangely. "You may come to bed. It's not like I can say no." Jen sat with her words, then stayed in place. "I went to a strange place when I crossed the sea...a place of monsters. I don't know how I got there...one of them took me...to that place." "What was this place?" She asked. "I don't know. Somewhere dark...it was so cold there. It was like nothing existed but darkness. These things...these monsters had people captured...they were...eating them. Eating their essence, their souls. One of them was feeding on me, but it stopped. It said...I was going to become one of them. One day, I'd be there again. And then I got sent back, but when I came back I was so sick...I thought I was dying." Jennifer's heart raced. "What did the monsters look like?" "They were...not like anything I've ever seen before. They were like two orbs attached to each other with these long tendrils hanging off them, but they were also human sometimes...and sometimes they were canines...then sometimes in between. They kept changing shape. I don't know what was really real, or if all of them were." Jen held his arms against himself. "When I returned, I met one of my ancestors. King Wren's older brother is still alive. He's gained immortality. He was the one who healed me. I don't know how he found me so quickly. He took...he took out most of what was inside me. I can't do anything magic related without a tool. But he said...there was one he could not remove, inside my heart. I can feel it there. It's cold, like that place." Jennifer was quiet. Her shoulders tensed. "Did that ancestor you met say anything about this?" "He told me not to use any more magic. That the only way I can keep from turning into a monster would be to live an ordinary life with nothing magical in it. I would need to leave here behind and let my lifespan shrink." Jen touched his chest. "I can feel it in me. Now that all the others are gone, I can feel its cold grasp clawing inside me." "It's in your heart?" Jen clutched at his heart. He nodded. "Inside here. It's cold. So cold...My head feels strange. Since he removed everything else...my head has felt so strange. He told me not to eat any more of the firebird's meat...but I can't put that off for long. I need it to survive." "Is...is consuming it hurting me?" Jennifer asked. "I don't know...do you feel the cold in your chest?" Jen asked her. "No. I don't feel anything." She shook her head. "Perhaps it's because you never had anything else put in you. Your body hasn't changed the way mine has. But I must eat it. I'll lose everything if I stop." Jen felt the cold spread a little. "How can I make myself live a shorter life when I could extend it? That's madness." "Jen, I...I don't want anymore. I never have wanted it. I don't need to live forever. We can stop." Jennifer said. "You would rather die than live with me?" Jen raised his voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." "You said I could divorce you, didn't you?" Jennifer reminded him. "I did." Jen said. "But I thought you would still want that." "I don't want anymore, even if we don't divorce. Would you please let me stop?" Jennifer asked. "Please, I've never wanted this." "Never?" Her words hit him hard. His mind jumped to conclusions he was not prepared to hear, each one more painful than the last. "...Let's wait a week before either of us decide what to do. It's too important a decision to make in haste." "As you wish." Jennifer said. Her eyes were full of disappointment. "Lazuli said it will be done tomorrow. You'll have Virgil with you again. You won't be alone. You can give it to him." "Gil...I'd nearly forgotten...why I left...If Virgil is successful, then Thomas can return." Jen felt his heart racing in a different way than before. "Yes, you'll have Thomas again. You'll have everything you need." Jennifer turned away and lay back down on the bed. She pulled the covers up. "I'm tired. Goodnight." Jen was caught off guard by her quick disinterest. He sat in silence for a moment. "Goodnight." He got up and turned off the bedroom light. Jen returned to his desk. He thought about Virgil and Thomas. He was sure if they were still alive, they would hate him. The new ones wouldn't have any terrible memories. They wouldn't have any memories at all. If Jennifer was gone, that still left him alone as the sole holder of those memories in this place. If Jennifer stopped eating the meat, she would die naturally like everyone else. He would have to see her age while he remained unchanged, if she stayed. He didn't think she would stay though. If she was willing to give that away, he doubted she would stay much longer. If she left, he would never even know when she died or where. Jen got up and picked up the pamphlet from the dresser. The moonlight showed him the author's name, Lily Linwood. Jen took it with him to his private lab. He tried to read it, but he was too tired to finish it. Jen fell asleep at his desk. Jennifer got up from the bed when she saw Jen wasn't coming back. She drew herself a bath and got in. In her palm, she held the little plant that was shaped like a pill. "What a waste of a life I've lived." She put the pill to her mouth, but couldn't swallow it. After twenty minutes, she went back to bed and slept alone. The next morning, the elves announced to Jen they had completed the first clone, the clone of Virgil. Jen went to see him. The clone was still inside the tank, sleeping. Jennifer had come to see the clone too. She cried when she saw the body. The clone looked exactly like Virgil at age twenty. The twins drained the liquid in the tank and unhooked the clone. "We've already trained his brain to understand several languages and his muscles to make him able to walk and talk right away. We implanted some information about the world as well. He will know you are his brother when he wakes." Lazuli and Lapis took the clone out of the tank. The clone opened his eyes. Jen felt a tightness in his chest. The clone's eyes were the same as Virgil's, only they held more light. Not once in all the time he and Virgil had spent together had he ever seen such light in Virgil's eyes. Jen went over to the clone and hugged him. "Brother?" The clone said. His voice was identical to Virgil's, though more innocent in tone. "Yes, I am your brother, Virgil." Jen hugged him tighter. When Virgil was alive, he and Jen rarely got along. But this Virgil didn't have any baggage to him. Jen could make things better this time. He kissed the new Virgil on the cheek. "Everything is going to be alright. I'm here. I'm going to take care of you." Jennifer quietly left the room. Jen thought about all the ways he could make everything perfect between him and Virgil. He told himself he would never raise his voice to this Virgil, never hurt him, never let anyone hurt him, and never let him know about all the horrible things that happened before. This Virgil, he would make sure stayed innocent of the cruelties of the world and only ever stayed a sweet, kind person. At the back of his mind, another thought crept. A desire. Something was calling, demanding to break the new Virgil into a thousand pieces, psychologically and physically. Excitement crept up on Jen at the thought. He didn't understand where it was coming from. His stomach hurt again. "Oh, I should take you to the firebird. The bird will be happy to see you." Jen said to shift his thoughts. He looked down. "You'll need clothes though. Get me some clothes from over there." Lapis brought extra clothes over from a desk drawer. Jen dressed Virgil and walked him to the where the firebird was, holding his hand the entire time. He told Virgil. "This bird loves you. She thinks she's your daughter. You can treat her as such, or as a pet. She has missed you so. Do not be frightened by her appearance. She won't harm you." "A bird?" Virgil held his brother's hand tightly. He smiled at Jen. Jen smiled back. The firebird's size initially frightened Virgil, but Jen reassured him the bird was safe. The bird, upon hearing Virgil's voice, sang loudly. Virgil hugged the bird. The bird curled its long neck around Virgil. "What's your name?" Virgil asked. "Goldy. Jenny called me that." The bird said. "I miss Jenny." Jen felt a sharp pain in his chest. "What happened to Jenny?" Virgil asked the firebird. Jen grabbed Virgil's wrist and squeezed it hard until Virgil whimpered. Jen let go. "Ah, I'm sorry. That was an accident. Did I hurt you?" Virgil felt over his wrist. "It's not hurt. Are you alright, Jen?" "Yes, I'm sorry. I got...scared thinking about the past. Um, let's not talk about Jenny. She went to go live in her father's old home, so she won't be coming back." Jen led Virgil away from the firebird. "We'll visit Goldy again soon. We need to get you something to eat. You haven't had real food yet." "I am feeling a little hungry." Virgil said. He smiled again. "I'll eat whatever you like." "Alright, we'll have breakfast soon. Wait for me outside the door, alright?" Jen said. Virgil nodded. "I'll be good." Jen closed the door. "Are you happy, Bird?" "Yes, very happy. Will Virgil come again?" The bird asked. "Virgil will visit you again. I have to teach him many things, but he will stop by from time to time." Jen took out a knife. "Since I've given you Virgil again, I would think you won't fight me about the meat. I'm going to give some to Virgil too, so he can live a long time and keep seeing you." "For Virgil..." The bird lowered its head. "If it's for Virgil..." "I know it hurts, but we don't have any other way. This will help Virgil get to have many days with you." Jen cut into the bird's flesh. He ate a piece and pocketed two more, one for Virgil and one for Jennifer. He said they should wait a week, but he hoped he could convince her to eat some today. With Virgil back, he couldn't possibly stop eating it. He needed to keep them all safe. He needed the firebird's flesh to keep them alive for as long as possible. He would need the tools too, to protect them. He would just need to do research and find some other way to not become a monster. Jen looked through the supplies and put on a new pair of glasses. He met Virgil back out in the hall to take him to breakfast. His body felt hot all over holding Virgil's hand. The cold spread out further inside him. Cruel thoughts slipped in his mind, of ways he could torment his new brother. He squeezed Virgil's hand a little too hard again, then apologized. "I'm sorry, Gil, I don't know my own strength." "It's alright." Virgil simply smiled. "It didn't hurt that much. I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, because we're brothers." IX. Faolán