VII. Night

Juan banged on the door as hard as he could. The door opened a few minutes later. Alex stood on the other side of the door. His hair was messy and his shirt misbuttoned. Alex looked at Juan strangely. "Jeez, are you trying to break it? The doorbell works, you know." Alex said. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking about...Can I come in?" Juan asked. Alex led him in. "Someone else trying to shoot you today?" "I dunno." Juan glanced back at the door as Alex closed it to make sure Alex locked it. He sat down on the living room sofa beside Eric. Juan noticed Eric looked equally as disheveled as Alex. "Did you guys just get up?" "No. Why?" Alex asked. "You look like you just rolled out of bed. You have drool on your face." Juan pointed out. Alex blushed. He wiped his face off. "So, uh, what are you doing here so early? I thought you were coming over at nine." Juan stretched and got more comfortable on the couch. "Nathan went off to work and I didn't know what to do until then, so here I am. Did I interrupt something?" "Yeah." Alex walked toward the kitchen. Once he was facing away from Juan, he fixed his shirt. Juan turned to Eric. "Uh, is he mad at me?" Eric laughed. "Nah. Is Nathan still coming over later?" "Yeah, he'll be here." Alex came back into the living room. He put his wallet in his back pocket and grabbed his keys from a dish by the front door. "Since you're already here, I'm gonna grab us all some lunch real quick. I'm going to Wendy's. Text me your order." Alex didn't wait for either of them to respond before leaving. "Are you sure he's not mad at me?" Juan asked Eric again. Eric grinned and shook his head. "No, he's just embarrassed and made up an excuse to leave for a while." "Embarrassed? About what?" "Don't worry about it. Do you wanna play a game until he gets back?" Eric dodged answering him. "Sure." Eric and Juan went upstairs to Alex's bedroom. Eric picked out a racing game to play, then sent a text message to Alex. He sat down beside Juan on the futon sofa. "Don't forget to text Alex about the food." "Oh, right. Um, is he paying for this or do I need to pay him back?" Juan asked. "I think if he wanted you to pay him back, he would've said so before he left." Eric started up the game. "Yeah, I guess so." Juan looked over the menu only to find something cheap. Even if he didn't have to pay for it, he didn't want to be rude to his friend. He put his phone away and picked up a controller. Aside from the sounds of the game, the room was quiet. Eric stared straight ahead at the TV screen, appearing to be in deep concentration. Juan shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. He wanted to say something about what happened earlier, but only Nathan would understand. He also wanted to ask Eric questions about Alex. Juan and Eric were friends, but only because Alex and Nathan were friends with both of them. Eric and Juan had never been particularly close. Sitting alone with Eric was awkward. He needed to say something. Juan glanced over at Eric. He noticed something. "Isn't that hoodie Alex's?" Eric looked down at it. "Yeah, it's Alex's." "Do you two swap clothes a lot?" "Sometimes. We wear the same sizes. The clothes I wore for the graduation ceremony were actually Alex's." Eric said. "I don't really like clothes like that, so I don't own any. It was much cheaper than renting something too." "A hoodie's not exactly all that fancy though." Juan commented. Eric's face was slightly red. "It's more comfortable than any of mine." Juan chuckled under his breath. "Are you really that cold right now? The AC's on." "Yeah. Think I'm coming down with something. I probably have a fever." Eric touched his own forehead. "I've been nauseous all day." "Oh, man. That sucks. I hope you feel better soon." Juan tried to think of something else to say. He kept thinking about all the things Alex told him about Eric, how the two of them looked at each other when Alex dropped off Eric's lunch, how they shared the bed in the room he was sitting in despite there being a guest room in the house and a second bed option in Alex's own room. He promised Alex he wouldn't out him to Eric. That didn't mean he couldn't ask Eric questions. His curiousity got the better of him. He had to ask. "Hey, I know this is kinda out of the blue, but I've been wondering...do you like Alex?" Eric kept his eyes on the screen. His face went a deep red. "Why?" "I dunno, I just thought...I kinda got that vibe, you know? I mean, I don't care if you do. I wouldn't tell anyone." Juan's heart was pounding in his ears. He hoped this wouldn't end up being something he regretted. "Yeah." "Uh, is that a yes?" Juan asked. "Yeah." Eric continued avoiding eye contact. "Huh. So, uh, I don't know for sure, but I think he likes you too. That how it comes off to me." Juan said. He was satisfied with his wording. 'See, Alex. I didn't spill the beans. All I did was say it might be like that. You can still have your big confession later.' "Really? I hope so. I was thinking of asking him out after the party." Eric finally looked over at him. He smiled. "Oh, really? Good luck." Juan had to contain his laughter. Eric was planning on asking out Alex on the exact same day that Alex was going to do the same thing. 'Don't mess this up, Mr. Skeptic. He's yours, if you don't find a way to mentally stop yourself.' "Thanks." Eric looked down. He paused the game and fixed the buttons on his own shirt. "Wow, how long was it like that?" Something dawned on Juan. He grinned. "Hey, um, what were you two doing before I got here?" Eric laughed. "We were making out. It was getting, uh, pretty intense." "Oh man, did I mess things up for you?" Juan laughed with him. "It wouldn't have gone much further than it did anyway." Eric unpaused the game. "But I don't think it'll be long before it does. I'm pretty sure Alex wants to, but I dunno. I think he's afraid he's going to mess something up. I've been wanting to go further for a while." "Why haven't you already asked him out?" Juan asked. Eric sighed. "Right now, we're still 'experimenting'. I'm not really. I already knew I was gay. But that's how things have been going. It started from me kissing him and playing it off as being close friends to test the waters and we've been moving from there. I don't know if Alex is as sure about himself yet as I am." Juan bit his tongue. He wanted badly to tell Eric the truth. "Huh. Well, I'm sure it'll work out. Alex has always been someone to spend way too much time overanalyzing the most obvious things." "He really does. That's why he always took the whole class period to finish tests. He'd finish them in five minutes, then spend like fifty rechecking every question." Eric shook his head and smiled. "Wasn't Alex always an honor roll student?" "Since as long as I've known him. Remember, he graduated in the top ten of our class. He was number six or something." Eric started another round in the game. "I hope he says yes. You know, we've already got an apartment in Atlanta. We were going to move in over the summer break before classes start. We got a studio. We were planning on sharing a bed still. Gonna be really weird if he turns me down..." "You both planned that out?" Eric looked over at Juan. "It was his idea." "You know, I feel like you really don't need to worry about him saying no." "Yeah." Eric paused the game. He took his phone out of his pocket, read a message, and sent one back. Juan looked over to try and read the screen. He couldn't see the first message or what Eric sent back, but he did see the reply Eric received. A notification popped up that Eric received a text from Alex that read "ilu2". Juan bit his tongue again. It was all he could do to contain his laughter. He could picture Alex sitting in the car, flustered and beat red from that short text exchange. "I take it Alex's is on the way back." "Yeah." Juan looked over. A stack of papers on Alex's desk caught his eye. He noticed a familiar logo. A wolf howling in front of the moon to the left of "M+WC" in all capitals. From what Juan could see, it appeared to be a document from Moone & Wolfe Corp that Alex had filled out. Juan assumed it was related to when Alex had interned there the previous year, likely looking over them again for something related to college or a job listing. Juan's thoughts shifted away from silly romance back to fear. He remembered what was in Roshi's emails. "Hey Eric, this is pretty off-topic, but didn't your parents used to work for Moone & Wolfe?" Eric's mood changed. "What? A long time ago. That was back when we lived in Rome." "I've been reading a lot about them lately. A lot of weird stuff. Have you ever been back there since they quit?" Juan asked. Eric put the controller down. "As a patient. I used to see this lady, Dr. Dogwood. My parents forced me to see her. I hated it." "Why's that?" Juan asked. "Whenever I'd go there, I'd feel really weird after. Like someone drugged me. They'd put me on meds on and off that made it hard for me to remember things. I don't go there anymore. I don't think anything they were doing was working on me, but I really don't think I should've been there anyway. My parents would send me there as a punishment." Juan's blood went cold wondering what it was Dr. Dogwood had done to Eric. When she was active as the serial killer Lynne Jones, her victims were all white and male. He recalled though that from the photos it looked like she preferred blonds. She might not have been interested in him. Juan hoped she hadn't done anything horrible to Eric. "What exactly was the treatment like?" "I'd have to go to this place and they'd put this thing on my head. It was connected to some other machine and they'd do something with my brain. I'd fall asleep when they did it. I don't know. It was something experimental. My parents had to sign a bunch of consent forms for me to do it. I don't remember what it was called. It was supposed to help with 'behavioral problems' or something. I don't think it fixed anything." Eric leaned back against the sofa. "They gave me some pills too. I forgot the name of the drug. It was something experimental too. It's like I was a lab rat to them." "Man, I'm sorry to hear that. You okay?" Eric shrugged. "I guess. Actually, sometimes I have weird dreams about that place. Nightmares. But they don't make any sense." "What do you mean?" Juan asked. "There's this guy. His name..." Eric put his hands to the sides of his head. He leaned forward, face pained. Eric quickly got up. "Sorry, I...I need to take something. Headache..." Eric opened a drawer and grabbed a bottle of pills. He took swallowed two pills, then sat down on the bed. "Shit." "Are you okay?" Juan asked, growing more concerned. Eric nodded. "I'll be fine. What was I saying?" "You said you had nightmares...but they didn't make any sense. What did you mean?" "That...Sometimes, I see places...memories of places I don't recognize and people I don't know who they are." Eric lay down on the bed. He put his hand over his eyes. "Sometimes, I see lights. I didn't say anything when we went ghost hunting, but...I believe you about the blue lights. That's the color they always are in those flashes I see in my mind and in my dreams." Juan sat up, eyes wide. "What? Wait, so you knew exactly what we were seeing!" "I don't know what they are, but I do think they're spirits...or some sort of afterimage of what once was. I don't know, but I know in my memories and dreams, I've never seen them in daylight. It's only at night." Eric clutched the sides of his head again. "What else do you see?" Juan asked. "Some kind of medical place. It's probably related to my parent's old job when they worked for Moone & Wolfe. I'm sure they took me to work with them sometimes. There's a field too...that place, I don't know where it is." Eric's eyes were empty. "Be a good boy, now." "What?" "Something I remember a doctor telling me. For some reason, that stands out. Be a good boy, now. It's always really loud in my head." Eric curled inward. "Sit in the chair and be good. And someone puts something on my head again...the machine..." "Eric? Are...are you okay?" Juan got up and went over to the bed. "He's there and the girl in blue, she's all blue and he's...I saw him in pieces...he was..." Eric clawed at his face. "Eric!" Juan pulled Eric's hands away from his face. "It's okay. Don't say anymore." Eric came to his senses. Disoriented, he sat up and stumbled from the bed toward the door. "I'm sorry. I...I need to get something stronger. I'll be right back." Eric left the room. Juan watched him from the doorway. Eric opened a storage closet in the hall and sorted through a box of pills. 'What the hell was that? Wait...Roshi mentioned something about memories...did he remember something he wasn't supposed to?' Something dawned on Juan about the blue lights. 'How long has he been dreaming about these lights?' Eric walked back to the room and sat down on the bed again. "You okay?" Juan asked. "Yeah, sorry. Really bad migraine." Eric rubbed his arms. "It's so cold in here." "Mm...doesn't feel cold to me." Juan said. "Are you sure you're okay?" "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll feel better after I eat something." Eric reassured him. Juan was unconvinced. He wanted to ask Eric more questions about his past, but he decided it wasn't worth it. Clearly, Juan thought, recalling certain things from back then hurt Eric. From what Alex told him, Eric already struggled to keep it together. He didn't need to make things worse for Eric, no matter what useful information he might learn. His curiosity wasn't worth disrupting Eric's well-being. There was an awkward silence between the two of them after that. Both tried to make small talk. The mood was strange. They took turns checking the clock on Alex's desk until they heard a car pull into the driveway. Eric glanced out the window. "It's Alex." When Alex got back to the room, he noticed the odd atmosphere between his friends. "I'm back." "Finally. I missed you." Eric hugged and kissed him before taking the bag of food. "Thanks for getting food." "N-no problem." Alex's face was beet red. Juan laughed under his breath. Alex looked away from him. "So, what've you guys been up to while I was gone?" Alex asked. "Playing video games. Not much else." Eric immediately dug into the food. Alex opened the bag and passed Juan his food. "Here." Eric grabbed a drink from the mini fridge in Alex's room. He tossed one to Juan and one to Alex. Juan caught the drink. "What movies are we watching tonight?" "I have a list. I haven't seen most of them, so no idea if they're any good." Alex shrugged. Eric started the game back up. "Who wants to race me?" "You guys play. Not really in the mood." Alex said. Juan picked up the controller he was using earlier. Eric and Juan played together while Alex watched. Around eight, all three of them were bored. Alex turned on the news and ordered a pizza. At nine, Nathan arrived. The four of them ate in front of the TV. Alex went over the list of movies to see what everyone was most interested in watching first. Eric stretched. "Maybe it's because I've been inside all day...but I kinda don't wanna watch anything right now. Why don't we go on a walk? It's not that late yet." Alex looked at the other two. "I mean, I wouldn't mind." "You sure you want to? You had a pretty bad migraine earlier." Juan said to Eric. Eric smiled. "I'm feeling better." "That's fine with me. But if any cops pull up to us, Eric's gonna have to do all the talking." Nathan said. "Why me?" Eric asked. "Because you're white." Juan laughed. Alex laughed with him. Eric shook his head and sighed. "Fair. Damn. Now I wish Zack could've made it." "He does have the thickest Southern accent out of all of us." Juan added. Alex nodded. "You know, one of his uncles is a cop too." "But doesn't he work in Bartow?" Eric asked. "Doesn't matter. That's close enough." Nathan said. "So, where are we walking to exactly?" "Let's go to the park." Eric said. "This late? What park? Are you trying to get us arrested?" Nathan raised an eyebrow. "It's fine. I'm sure no one will notice us. I thought we'd walk to that park by that little lake, something-something Memorial Park...whatever it's called, the one off Oak Street." Eric said. "I haven't been there since I was a kid. I thought maybe I should go see it one last time." Alex opened up the Maps app on his phone. "That's quite a walk from here...Even if we didn't stay long...by the time we get back, it's gonna be way late..." "Well, what if we drive to Walmart and walk from there?" Eric asked. "Couldn't we just...park there then?" Alex countered. "But isn't it closed already?" Eric asked. "Looks like...if Google isn't lying to me...it closes at 11...if we left right now, we'd be fine, but we couldn't stay all that long." Alex put his phone away. "Okay, we're driving there." "But I want to walk." Eric whined. "We can walk at the nature trail around the lake." Alex waved his hand at Eric. He grabbed his keys. "Let's go. I am not dealing with any cops tonight. So we are leaving by ten forty-five. You know they're gonna be extra alert with it being a graduation weekend." "Alright...but it would've been spookier if we walked there." Eric said. "Jeez, Eric, we're already walking at night and coming back to marathon horror movies. How much adrenaline do you need?" Juan shook his head. Eric shrugged. The four drove out to the park. They walked around, looking over everything there. Nathan was the first to say anything. "You know, I see this place all the time out of the corner of my eye when I driving by here...but I remember it looking nicer than this when I was a kid." "Because it was. I heard they're about to tear all this down and redo the place." Alex said. "Wonder what it'll look like." "So when we come back to visit your parents...this place really won't exist anymore..." Eric leaned against the fence of the tennis court, looking out at the nearby playground. "I mean, it'll exist, but it'll look different." Alex said. "That's the same thing." Eric walked over to the old swing set. He pulled on the chains of one of them. "What are you doing?" Alex asked. "Seems sturdy." Eric half-heartedly smiled. "You don't think I'd break it, do you?" "Aren't you a little old for that?" Alex laughed. Juan went up to the swing in the middle. He tugged at the chains, then sat down. "Why is that? Parents swing with their kids all the time. Why can't we?" "Because we don't have kids." Alex said bluntly. Juan motioned with his right hand for Alex to come over. "Come on. Who's gonna care? We're the only people here." "Fine." Alex rolled his eyes. He sat down on the swing Eric had already checked. Alex looked over at a third swing past Juan. "This was your idea. Aren't you going to do it too?" Eric checked the third swing. One of the chains fell to the ground. "Oh." "What if we break the whole thing?" Alex hesitated to move. Juan swung with full force, causing a bit of shaking through the frame. "We run and pretend we were never here." "Could you...not do that?" Alex stayed motionless. "Alright, alright. I'll tone it down." Juan slowed his pace. "You worry too much." Alex slowly started to swing. He watched Eric climb up the wooden structure ahead of them. "Tell me you are not going to go down that slide." "I'm not. I just wanted to get a look from up here." Eric sat down at the top. "You know...this felt so much bigger when I was nine..." "We were a lot smaller then." Alex said. He looked around. "Where did Nathan go?" "I dunno. Bathroom maybe?" Juan said. He hadn't noticed Nathan leave either. Alex swung a little harder. He looked out around the area. "He's at the car." "Must've forgot something." Juan said. He looked forward at the highway they'd turned off of. He'd been down that road so many times over the years. All the places were familiar blurs he could vaguely point out, but the names of some of the smaller places along it and the little roads that connected were hazier than the other shapes in his mind. When Eric mentioned the road earlier, he didn't actually know the name off hand. He understood where Eric meant because of the lake. Eric, he recalled, couldn't remember the name of the park himself. Now that he thought about it, Juan doubted he could name it off hand either. It was the park with a lake and a tennis court not far from Walmart. That was all his mind had bothered to store about identifying the place itself. The last time he was here was in eighth grade. His family had a barbecue when some of his relatives were visiting. He played with some of his younger cousins on the playground then too, but he already felt too old to be there. Though he hadn't returned there since, the space always existed in the background as another landmark along the way, a sign he was close to home. The name of the road didn't matter, but the cold weight of the chains in his hand and the grooves of the wood shaded by night, that was what remained perfectly crystalized in his memory. All the years of absence hadn't shaken a single detail. The time between them and now crashed together inside him, and the differences brought on by decay became all too clear under the moonlight. As they swung back and forth, out of sync, the roads ahead beyond his sight felt like monsters hiding in the dark. An unnerving quiet bloomed between them, only broken here and there by the clanking of metal and the creaking of old wood. "It's weird...that I won't see you much once the summer ends." Juan said. An uneasiness overcame him at hearing his own voice alongside those old sounds. "Yeah..." Alex spoke quietly. "We've been friends since sixth grade. That feels like forever ago." Juan thought back to when they first met. They had the same first and third period together, science and math. Alex was assigned the seat next to him in their science class and they were usually lab partners. Their entire friendship had come about by chance, decided by little more than the order of papers pulled out of a jar by a teacher neither of them had thought about in years. "God, sixth grade was awful." Alex laughed. He looked down at the ground with a smile, calling up shared embarrassments in his mind. "Had to have been my worst year of school." "Haha, right?" Juan stopped himself from swinging forward, his feet digging into mulch and dirt. He put his weight forward on the rusty chains. "I don't think I'm going to miss this place. I'll miss you guys, but not here." "Yeah...this place is filled with a lot of bad memories. I love the people I met here, but not this...this place. When I look around, I don't see happy memories in the roads and trees or the houses. I only see them in people. This place feels like it's rotting." Alex kept swinging, going faster than before. He forgot his earlier hesitation, overcome with a bit of childish joy. "This place is dying. I saw on the news earlier this month about another meth lab. A lot of the places my parents used to shop at are closed. The recession's over, but nothing ever came back. It's emptier than before. Half finished houses are everywhere." Juan said. The house he lived in was another piece of the rot, he thought. He wondered if his parents would ever fix all the things wrong with it, or would they let it keep going until they had to move. Part of him thought they hoped they could put it off until their deaths, to escape ever having to face the flood of problems pouring in. "I heard from Zack it's worse the farther you get out from Atlanta. You know, my mom said when we were little, people thought this place was really going to turn into something big. Fastest growing county in the US or something at some point, and then...it just stopped and withered back away. Most people here work at Walmart or pizza places." Alex swung faster. "I wonder...what went wrong..." Juan watched Alex. Alex swung hard enough to shake the frame. At the height of his forward swing, he let go and jumped. He landed, then turned back to Juan, a big grin on his face. "Hey, you better not stop sending me messages when you're in Florida." "I won't." Juan grinned back at him. "You should come visit me during Spring break." "Definitely." Alex said. Unspoken words hung between them, both of them very aware of what they were. "What do you think will be left when this place destroys itself?" Alex looked out at the highway. "Kudzu? Maybe some bamboo forests too. They planted that shit everywhere." Juan said. "Haha, yeah...it's all down the Silver Comet Trail." Alex said. "I've taken way too many photos of bamboo and kudzu..." Eric got down from the wooden structure, going down the slide while standing up. He stumbled forward at the end, nearly falling over. He laughed at himself. "What the hell are you doing?" Alex asked Eric. "I had to." Eric looked over at the empty swing. "Hey, can I have a turn now?" Alex stepped aside. "Sure." Juan got up from the swing. "Alex, you stay. I think I'm done with this." "You sure?" Eric asked. "Yeah." Juan stretched. "Think I'll go figure out what the hell Nathan's been doing." Alex sat back down on the swing. Eric took the now empty one beside him. At first, they were moving at different speeds. Eric slowed his to match Alex's. Juan watched them for a bit. He heard footsteps behind them. Nathan walked up the hill. "Where've you been?" Juan asked. Nathan held up a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "Dropped in the car. They ended up stuck under the driver's seat. Is this what you three have been up to?" "Pretty much." Juan pointed to the slide. "You missed Eric nearly faceplanting going down the slide." "Oh no, I saw that coming up." Nathan lit a cigarette. "You going to have a turn too?" Juan asked. Nathan shook his head. "Wasn't really interested in coming here in the first place. I don't really have any good memories of this place." "Something bad happen here?" Juan asked him. Nathan pointed to the far left, toward the other side of the park. "I used to live on Alexander Street, over there, with one of my foster families." Juan looked over. His parents always parked on this side and that part of the park was hidden from the highway, he had forgotten the park had two entrances. "Really? I never knew you lived over there before. When was this?" "Some years back. I didn't know you then. I was moved out of county for a while, then moved back here later with some other family. I don't remember how many families there were in between those." Nathan exhaled, looking up at the sky. "That was the worst family I stayed with. The husband used to beat everyone in the house. They were both hoarders, trailer was falling apart from all the stuff packed in it. I used to spend all my time after school down at the basketball courts over there just to be away from them." "Why didn't you say something?" Juan asked. "We could've gone somewhere else." "It's fine." Nathan said. "Let the lovebirds have their fun." Juan looked back over at Eric and Alex. They were holding hands as they swung slowly in unison. "It's cute, but they'll have plenty of time to be all lovey-dovey without us." Juan reminded him. "I'm not upset." Nathan said. "Just because bad shit happened to me here, doesn't mean I need to let it ruin the mood for everyone else. Even if I can't have it, at least I made someone else a little happier here. This world is shit. Every moment counts." "That's a kind thing to do...but it's not fair that you..." Nathan cut him off. "Life isn't fair. But I don't have to drag someone else down with me. Don't tell them what I said. Let them be happy. I can hide the pain. By morning, I won't even be thinking about it anymore. Let's all have some fun tonight, right? This is probably one of the last times the four of us will ever hang out anyway." Juan went quiet. He let the sounds of metal and wood fill the space around them again. A heavy wind blew through. Eric and Alex stopped. They all looked up at the sky. Dark clouds hid the moon. Alex got up. "Do you think it's gonna rain?" "Looks like it might. We should probably leave soon." Nathan walked over to them. The four grouped together. Eric sighed. "Guess we won't get to go on a walk after all..." "Sorry. I can't control the weather." Alex put his hand on Eric's shoulder. "Are you sure we couldn't walk for a little bit? Surely, it won't pour down that quick." Eric begged. "Please..." Alex looked over at Nathan and Juan. "I dunno...it just got...really dark and windy fast. I don't want to be out here if you're wrong..." Juan said. Thunder rumbled. Lightning lit up the sky. Nathan put out his cigarette. "Yeah, I think that's our cue to go." "Damn." Eric's shoulders sunk. Alex held his hand. "We still had some fun. I'll go on a walk with you here some other time before we move, if you still want to." Eric shook his head. "It's alright. It wasn't that important. Sorry for dragging you all out here." "It was fun, for the time we did have." Alex walked with Eric back to the car. Nathan lagged behind the others. He looked back at the basketball courts in the distance and the trees encircling the pitch black lake. Juan stopped and waited for him. "You okay?" Juan asked. "Yeah." Nathan walked side by side with Juan. "Hey Alex, do you trust me?" "What? Yeah, I guess...Why?" He asked, confused. "Let me drive us back." Nathan offered. "Why?" Alex asked. Nathan walked past Eric. "So you can sit in the back with Eric." Even in the dark, Juan could see Alex was blushing. Alex looked away. He tossed Nathan his keys and got in the back of the SUV. Eric grinned widely. He mouthed the words "thank you" to Nathan. Juan chuckled. He took the front passenger seat. Nathan started up the car. He messed with the radio to fill the car with some sound. Nathan noticed something. "Wait, do you have a CD in here? Let's see what this..." "Ah, you don't need to play that. Just turn on Star 94 or something." Alex quickly said, his face redder than before. Nathan let the CD play. Juan and Nathan listened to the music, the singer unfamiliar to both of them. "You can turn that off, please." Alex reached forward to try and eject the CD. Nathan laughed and stopped the CD. He switched over to the radio. "Not exactly what I was expecting. I didn't know you listened to CDs still." "I have a few from some artists, mostly indie people, just to help them with sales. I usually just by the digital versions." Alex explained. "It was a small run. I think she sold out a long time ago on Bandcamp." "What the fuck is Bandcamp?" Juan asked. Alex side-eyed Juan. "It's a place to buy music." "I just sail the seas." Juan shrugged. "I won't do that with an indie artist." Alex narrowed his eyes at Juan. Eric pulled Alex back. "Forget about the music stuff." Alex leaned close to Eric. "I was just..." Juan caught them kissing in the rearview mirror. He glanced over at Nathan. When Nathan looked back at him, he used his eyes to suggest Nathan peek back at them. Nathan saw them in the mirror. Nathan smirked and turned up the radio. Alex was quiet for the rest of the ride. When they made it back, Nathan commented as he parked. "We're here. Do you want us to go in ahead or you or would you prefer we wait out here while you go in?" Alex pulled away from a kiss. He wiped his face off. "Ah, no...we don't need to do that. Sorry...I..." Eric unbuckled his seatbelt. "Yeah, we can cuddle while we watch the movies." Alex went a deep red. He unbuckled and quietly got out of the car. Juan waited until both Eric and Alex were out of the car. He turned to Nathan. "I can't believe they made out the entire time." "And they're not dating yet, right?" Nathan asked. "Eric is planning on asking him out after the graduation party. Alex is planning to do the same thing." Juan laughed. "That's hilarious." Nathan opened the driver's side door. He watched lightning flash across the sky. "Won't be long now." Juan was last to get out of the car. He felt a drop of rain hit his face. "Yeah. Just barely made it." The four rushed inside. As Alex went to close the front door, sheets of rain drenched the yard. They watched the rain for a bit before everyone except Alex headed upstairs. Alex went to the kitchen to make tea and get snacks. Upstairs, Eric got the TV ready. Juan sat on the floor, Nathan took the futon, and Eric went to the edge of the bed. Alex came back up with a bag full of snacks and a pot of tea. The teapot was placed on Alex's desk, where he already had two mugs ready. Nathan and Juan drank more of the soda they had gotten with the pizza. The four snacked on candy, popcorn, and more pizza. The horror movies were more cheesy than scary. Alex turned off the lights early on to give the room a spookier vibe. He cuddled with Eric on the bed, sipping the cinnamon black tea he made for them to share. Eric drank from a matching mug, one of his arms around Alex. Juan watched them whenever his attention drifted during a dull part of on the films. Around three, Nathan fell asleep. Eric was down shortly after. Alex and Juan struggled to keep watching. The teapot was empty now. The snacks were discarded haphazardly around the room and the pizza boxes were stacked up beside the futon. Alex got up from the bed and started to clean everything up. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. "You can go ahead and sleep. I'll finish cleaning, then turn in." "Let me help you." Juan picked up what was nearest to him. "Thanks." Alex said. Once all the mess on the floor had been bagged up, Alex tied off the trash bag. "Need help with anything else?" "Nah. I'm gonna toss this, then get a snack before turning in. Did you want anything?" Alex headed to the door. "Mmm..Maybe...I ate a lot of sugar. Kinda craving something with a little more substance." Juan followed him downstairs into the kitchen. Alex opened the kitchen trashcan. "Hmm...this is already pretty full. Guess I'll just take both of them outside. I'll be right back. Help yourself to whatever." "Okay." Juan looked in the fridge. He felt awkward. He had expected Alex would just give him something instead. Juan looked around the kitchen. He didn't really know where most things were in here. He rarely spent any time in here. 'Bet Eric knows where everything is in here.' Juan knew at least where the pantry was. He opened the door and looked over everything. The pantry, like the fridge, was a strange mix. Most of the food was marketed on being healthy; a lot of organic food, limited ingredients, teas and tisanes, low sugar products, and low sodium items. About a quarter of both, however, was junk food. When he first met Alex in middle school, he never saw him so much as drink a soda or eat any candy but dark chocolate. He had been surprised by how much junk food Alex had been eating lately, but hadn't thought much about it. Eric's influence had extended beyond fast food orders into the kitchen itself. Alex was usually a bit pushy or preachy about things he thought was the "right" thing to do, from a health or moral perspective. It seemed when it came to people he was in love with, Alex was more willing to compromise or even abandon things he supposedly cared about. Juan decided to take some of Eric's snacks, grabbing a couple of Slim Jim's. "Did you find something?" Juan jumped. He turned around. Alex laughed. "Did I scare you?" "I about had a heart attack." Juan let out a deep breath. Alex looked at what Juan got. "I thought you wanted something with substance." "It's meat." "If you say so." Alex grabbed a bag of pepitas. "Hey, it's from your pantry!" Juan reminded him. "Eric picked those out." Alex opened the bag and grabbed a handful. "Apparently, his parents never really...cooked much. They'd have lots of takeout and TV dinners and stuff like that. I don't think either of his parents actually know how to cook anything." Juan was about to open the beef jerky. He paused. "Should I get something else?" "Eric's not gonna miss one or two of them. It's fine. I eat some of his food anyway." Alex said. "I thought you said this didn't have substance." Juan opened the package and took a bite. Alex shrugged. "Feels like this should be the other way around." Juan said. "Hmm?" "You're eating a lot of junk because of Eric. Shouldn't you make Eric eat better food?" Juan said. He joked. "I feel like if we were dating, you wouldn't let me get away with that. You'd be on my case about it." "Probably. Haha, that's a thought." Alex laughed. "I am...trying to get him to eat healthier. But Eric's already dealing with a lot. Fixing his diet can wait." "Doesn't mean you have to eat it too." Juan pointed out. "It'd get awkward if I never do." Alex said. He yawned, his posture a little unsteady. "Let's go back. Think Imma bouta pass out." "Yeah, me too." Juan followed Alex out of the kitchen. As he moved towards the steps, Juan heard something in the kitchen. He looked back. He thought he saw something on the other side of the windowed part of the back door. It was too dark to make out anything specific. He started to walk back into the kitchen to get a better look. The door knob jingled. Juan froze. Alex came back down the steps. "What are you doing?" "I...I think there's someone at your back door..." Juan said. "I saw the door knob move." Alex stared through the window, but couldn't see anything either. "Stay here. I'll be right back. Yell if you need me." "What? Where are you...?" Alex ran to the room directly beside the bottom of the steps, Alex's parents' bedroom. He came back quickly with two items. Alex handed Juan a very large flashlight. In his other hand, he carried a gun. "Is that a gun?" Juan asked. "From my parents' safe." Alex went to the door. "Stand behind me. When I open the door, turn on the flashlight. That thing will light up the entire backyard." "Are you crazy? What if there is someone out there?" Juan asked. "That's what this is for." Alex held up the handgun. "I know how to use it. Noelle's dad and my stepdad wouldn't let us go camping by ourselves until we both learned how to shoot." "Can't we just call the cops..." Alex put his hand on the doorknob, ready to unlock and open the door. "Okay, get ready. Three, two, one..." Alex swung the door wide open and aimed as Juan turned on the flashlight behind him. The yard was empty as far as the light touched. Alex fired the gun. He stepped back and closed the door, locking it right away. Alex turned on the backyard light. "Um...aren't you not supposed to fire a gun in a place like this? What if you hit someone's house?" Juan asked. Alex rushed to the front door and turned on the outside light there. "It's fine. I shot into the ground, not the woods. It was a warning shot. If anyone was out there, I doubt they'll be coming back. Oh...we should turn the deck light on too. Follow me." Juan went with Alex upstairs to the guest bedroom, where the door to the back deck was. Juan had only been in that room a few times. Usually, whenever he was out on the deck with Alex, they would come from the yard up the steps. Alex turned on the bedroom light and then the deck light. He closed the blinds on the windows and the door. The door had more window to it than the back door downstairs. The blinds went down nearly the full length of the door. The boys went back to Alex's bedroom. Alex turned on his desk lamp to add a little light to the room without waking the others. He peeked through his blinds at the front yard. "No one out front. No strange cars or anything. Must've come through the woods. We should be okay now, but I'll keep the gun up here tonight." Alex said. He put the gun in his desk drawer. "It's right here, if you need it." "I really do not want to need that for anything." Juan got back under his blanket. Alex seemed unbothered, but Juan sensed he was hiding his fear. Alex cuddled up against Eric. "I'll leave this light on. Don't think I'll be able to sleep if I don't." "That's a good idea. I think...I need it on too..." Juan admitted. "Should we wake them and tell them what happened?" "Nah. Nothing's probably going to happen. No reason to freak them out too. Let them sleep." Alex rested his head on Eric's chest and holding one of Eric's hands. "Try to sleep. Night." "Night." Juan's heart rang in his ears. 'Try to sleep...easier said than done...' For the first ten minutes after he had settled back down, every tiny noise caused his heart to race. Alex had already fallen back asleep. Juan was jealous. He thought it might be a little easier for him to sleep if he had someone to cuddle with too, but the only other person in the room was Nathan. Unless he asked Alex to let him sleep in bed with him and Eric, which he doubted either of them would want and the very idea was too embarrassing to even consider. Juan moved his blanket and pillow closer to the bed, positioning himself between Nathan on the futon and the other two resting on the bed. His pillow was directly up against the desk. Juan stared up at the lamp and the drawer. It wouldn't take him long to get up and reach inside. That thought and his proximity to the others helped ease his mind. He drifted off into a dream, finding himself somewhere both familiar and unfamiliar. It was night there too. Juan sat with a rifle in his hand. He looked down through the kudzu covered metal fence. He was sitting outside on the second story of a large building. The area he sat in seemed to have been put in place specifically to use as a lookout. Some armed men and women stood down below him behind another fence. Above them, on the third floor, he could see another little caged area like the one he was sitting a bit to the left. Further left and higher on the fourth floor, he saw another. To the right, he could make out on a different side of the building part of another cage on the fourth floor. Across from him sat Alex, a rifle in hand the same as him. He wore a tactical belt with a knife, a handgun, a taser, and a strange device on it that looked somewhat like a radio. A warm wind blew through the night, a distinctive summer breeze. The city around them was dark and quiet. He couldn't recognize any of the buildings in the dark, but he knew without seeing them or the state they were in that he was in Atlanta. Alex checked his watch. 'Thirty more minutes.' 'Thank god. I'm so hungry.' Juan yawned. 'I'm gonna eat, then straight to bed.' Alex sniffed himself. 'I think I'll hit the showers first. It's so damn hot, even at night.' 'Eh, I'll just stink.' Juan rubbed his eyes. 'It's not that bad yet, right?' 'Nah.' Alex opened a back of cigarettes. He lit one. 'Want one?' Juan shook his head. 'Trying to cut down.' Alex leaned back against the concrete slab behind him. 'Suit yourself.' 'It's kind of funny...we grow tobacco, but we don't have nearly enough medicine and our food variety is awful.' Juan said. 'It's one of the things we can actually grow. And since we don't have much medicine or much of...anything...it's not good for us, but it does take the edge off a little.' Alex said. 'Wish they'd let us smoke something else out here, but we're not allowed to do that outside off days.' 'I mean...would you want your guards high?' Alex laughed. 'I get why it's a rule. But damn this would be a lot easier to get through if I was high as a kite right now.' 'We could work inside. They let you if you work in the kitchen or the supply store.' Juan picked up a cup of coffee and took a swig. It was cold. Alex motioned for Juan's cup. Juan passed it over to him. Alex drank a little, then handed it back. Juan put the cup down. 'Did you finish yours already?' 'Yeah. Ugh, the last thirty minutes are always the longest.' Alex rubbed his face. 'Could you bring me back some food to our room when I'm in the shower? Don't know if I can make two trips before turning in.' 'I got you. Don't worry about it.' Alex stood up. Headlights brightened the front of the building. 'Looks like we have guests.' Juan stood up. He stared down at the car below. Two of the people who got out were let through right away. They showed badges to the guards on the bottom floor. A family of four followed behind them through the gate. One of the guards below opened up a different gate near the building and drove the car into that area. 'Do you think they'll stay?' 'Probably. Not many other places left to go.' Alex lowered his rifle. The scenery shifted to a room with concrete walls and a concrete floor. The room had no windows and only one door. For furniture, there was only a bed, desk, and a chair. A plate of food and a glass of water was waiting on the desk. Juan lay on the bed, dressed in an undershirt and boxers. A tiny fan blew from a desk near the bed. The lone door opened. Alex walked in wearing only his underwear. His hair was wet. 'You really walked back from the showers like that?' Juan laughed under his breath. 'I'm too hot to care.' Alex sat at the desk and started eating. 'I heard they're letting the kids come to school in bathing suits if they want. By the way, they're timing our showers. Five minutes each.' 'Are we that low on water?' Juan asked. 'It's just to be safe. We should be alright, but you know how some people are.' Alex said. He got up from the chair and lay down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. Juan rolled over. He gave him a strange look. 'What are you doing?' 'It's cooler on the floor.' Alex said. He closed his eyes. 'I heard a lot of people are volunteering in the kitchen just to stand in the freezer. Maybe we should do that on one of our off days.' Juan handed Alex a pillow. Alex grabbed Juan's wrist and lightly pulled, urging him to come down. Juan shook his head. Alex pulled again. Juan laughed and brought his pillow down. The humid room had been suffocating him, but the cold concrete chilled his skin. 'It is cooler down here. It's hurting my back though.' 'Let's put the mattress on the floor tonight and ditch the blankets.' Alex got up for a second. He brought the small fan down to where they were. Juan looked over at the bed. The mattress wasn't a proper mattress. It was a cheap futon mattress from a sofa-bed combo, he was pretty sure, and a very thin one at that. 'If you can call it a mattress.' Alex laughed under his breath. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling again. The room was near silent. The only noise filling the space was the dull humming of the fan and the near inaudible sound of breathing. Juan's eyes wandered over the room. Like the floor, the four walls were concrete. No private bathroom, no kitchen, no windows, no decor. The room was nothing more than a place to sleep. He looked over at Alex. Heavy bags hung under Alex's eyes. There was a dullness there too. A year ago, there had been so much more light shining in those eyes. Alex's body was more toned than before from all the training the two of them did on their off days, yet somehow his body seemed far more worn down. His movements had an unsteadiness about them, a strange clumsiness coming over him every now and then like a bolt of lightning hitting a tree. Alex would stumble, lose his grip, or fall without any reason. He'd regain his composure quickly and act like nothing happened. In those moments, his breathing became erratic. The erratic breathing came on at other times too, growing more common with each passing month. In this moment, Juan had already noticed Alex's breathing changing. He held Alex's hand. Alex glanced over at him, reciprocating the touch by lancing their fingers. He gave a half-hearted smile, then looked away. Juan caught a glimpse of wetness in his eyes. 'Never thought this is where I'd be a year ago. I mean, I thought I'd be in Atlanta...but not like this. The city is dead. We're lying in its corpse.' Alex said. 'Sometimes, I feel like I'm lying inside my own corpse.' 'What do you mean?' Juan asked. 'I don't know, like I'm a ghost haunting myself. This doesn't feel real. I can't tell the months apart anymore. I know it's been a year. I know because someone told me earlier today. But a year and yesterday feel the same.' Alex held up his free hand toward the ceiling. 'I'm just here...laying inside this body, existing, but nothing matters.' Juan held his hand tighter. 'I wish I could wake up and everything was back the way it was. But we can't go back. We have to find a way to live.' Alex rolled over. He curled up against Juan's. 'Everything I was worried about back then...seems so stupid now...Everybody's dead. All the people I thought would hate me, and all the people who loved me.' 'I'm still here.' Juan caressed Alex's face. Alex held back his tears. 'I know...I just wish...you weren't the only one.' Juan hugged him. 'We've gotta keep going. We can't go back, but we could try to make things better. You know, I heard of the vaccines they're working on is really starting to make progress now that we have two virologists here.' Alex smiled slightly. 'Well, that is good to hear. Sometimes, I wish we'd been older when this happened. I wish I had some knowledge from college classes at least. Though I guess, if I'd stayed in my major, that'd still be pretty useless. What the fuck good would a degree in journalism be right now?' 'It's not useless. If we ever manage to get contact with other countries again, someone needs to tell everyone what happened here.' Juan said. 'If...' Alex laughed. He got more comfortable against Juan. 'Hey, do you remember back when we were in sixth grade, there was this boy who killed himself? The school didn't want us talking about it, like they were erasing him so they didn't have to talk with students about it.' 'I think I know who you're talking about.' Juan said. 'Didn't he live on your street?' 'Yeah, we used to be friends in elementary school. I had a crush on him.' Alex said. 'My first crush, but I didn't understand it at first. By the time I sorted out I was gay, that boy killed himself the same month.' 'Oh my god...I didn't know...' 'I never told anyone. After he died, I often thought...about killing myself to join him. For some reason, I kept thinking my feelings caused him to die. I don't know why.' Alex looked into Juan's eyes, then averted his gaze. 'I really thought for a while if I loved someone, I'd make them die. Probably why I only had one boyfriend before you and it didn't last long. Sometimes, I still think about him...but the thought's changed. I used to think it was because I loved him that he died, but lately, these thoughts slip into my head that it was because I didn't love him enough. And that's why he haunts me.' 'What do you mean?' Juan asked. 'He was always really depressed. We both were, for different reasons. At the beginning of sixth grade, we stopped being friends. I pushed him away because I felt weird around him. He didn't have many other close friends. If I hadn't have done that, if I had realized what my feelings were sooner and been around him more...maybe he'd still be here.' Alex laughed coldly at his own sorrow. 'It's just wishful thinking. If he did live through that, that doesn't mean he wouldn't end up six feet under anyway like everyone else. Broken into bits, bleeding out, dying in agony and left to rot in the sun...' Juan sensed a growing panic in Alex's tone. He petted Alex's hair. 'Are you okay? Maybe we should talk about something else.' 'I'm fine. It's just...something that pops up in my head every now and then. Sometimes, I wonder if I made the wrong choice back then. When we were in high school, I was glad I didn't end up killing myself. All the things I thought would end up being a big deal weren't. My parents were so supportive of me coming out they threw me a damn party. I had a great best friend who ended up being a great boyfriend too. I got accepted into the college I wanted to go to and I was about to move out to where I wanted to live. Everything was going better than I could have hoped for. Until it wasn't.' Alex's tone was initially happy. The longer he spoke, the more it faded. He lowered his voice. 'It's always at night, when we're out there on our shift and I'm looking out at that dead city. All the lights are gone and it's too quiet, and I think...maybe I should've joined him back then. Nothing's gotten better from that moment. It's only gotten worse.' Juan put his hands on each side of Alex's face. He looked him dead in the eyes. 'Alex, you're not really thinking of...' Alex placed his hands over Juan's, keeping them pressed against his face. He smiled. 'It's only a passing thought. It's not serious. But it is hard to be hopeful.' The room faded away. White walls replaced the concrete ones. Juan sat beside a hospital bed, holding Alex's hand. They were both older. Juan had grey hairs scattered here and there. Alex was mostly grey. His skin was pale and his eyes much duller. Juan forced a smile for Alex. 'It's gonna be alright. We just have to do what the doctor says. No more working. You just need to relax and rest.' 'It was just a heart attack. I didn't die. I'm fine.' Alex sat up, a pained expression on his face. He held his chest with his free hand and breathed strangely. 'Lay down.' Juan tried to stop him from leaving the bed. 'I don't want to. I'm tired of sitting in here. I want to see outside.' Alex put his hands on Juan's to push him away, but he didn't have the strength. He lowered his head and his voice. 'I don't want to die in here.' 'I don't either. But you have to stay here while you recover.' 'Please, get me out of here...Let me go back to work until I can't, then let me die in my bed.' Alex said. He kept his gaze away from Juan. 'Why are you talking about death? You said you'd be fine. You will be. You'll...' 'I lied.' Alex cut him off. He finally looked at him, eyes wet. 'The doctor said it's pretty bad. We don't have a specialist here who can treat me. It could be a year, it could be next month. He couldn't give me a good estimate yet, but I'm probably not gonna get better.' Juan's voice was barely above a whisper. 'I know. He told me too.' The room went silent for several minutes. Alex started crying. 'I'm sorry.' Juan wiped the tears from his own face. 'Why are you apologizing?' 'Because I'm weak.' Alex looked away again. 'Apparently, I've been sick a long time and I didn't know it. So many strong, health people died and here I am, wasting the little resources we have with my worthless body. Wasting your time when you could be with someone else who...' 'You're not worthless. No one is worthless.' Juan pulled him into a hug. 'So long as humans exist, no matter how many bad ones there are, there will always be humans who help others for no reason at all than the hearts tell them too. Isn't that why we did our jobs?' Alex hugged him back. 'Yeah...' 'Now it's your turn to be taken care of. That doesn't make you less than before. All humans who don't die quickly will all end up in this same place. That is also the nature of being alive.' Juan pressed his face against Alex's. 'Through sickness and health, right? I swore I'd be here.' Alex held up one of his hands and looked at the ring on his finger. 'Till death do we part.' 'And for whatever is after.' Juan added. Alex leaned back. 'No. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me. You don't have to stay alone...' 'I know.' Juan kissed him. 'But I swear it anyway.' Bright walls clicked out to black and then back to white. Juan woke from the hospital bed, sitting up. He looked down at Alex as he slept. Alex was much thinner. All his hair had gone grey in spite of the few wrinkles on his face. His skin was paler than before, no brightness remaining in his cheeks. Juan petted Alex's hair. He looked over at the calendar. A year had passed. Juan got up and put his shoes on. Alex grabbed his wrist. His voice was as frail as his body. 'Where are you going?' 'To get us some breakfast.' Juan said. Alex turned over onto his back. 'Could you take me up to the roof today?' 'Are you sure you're up to it? There's no elevator to the roof. You'll have to walk up the stairs.' Alex took several slow breaths before answering. 'I'll manage it. I want to go today. I might miss my chance if I don't.' 'What are you talking about?' Juan asked. Alex sat up. He smiled, his sorrow apparent on his face. 'It's going to be soon.' 'How do you know?' Alex got up from the bed. 'I don't know. I just know. Something's different in me, but I don't know how to describe it. I know that's what it means. I've been feeling it since yesterday. Besides, I feel like I have more energy today anyway.' Alex stumbled forward as soon as his feet touched the ground. Juan caught him. 'Careful. You haven't walked in weeks. Let me get the wheelchair ready.' The hospital shifted away from them. Alex walked down a long, dark hallway, pushing Alex's wheelchair. They reached a stairwell. Alex got in front of the wheelchair. 'Here. Sit down here while I bring it up there and then I'll come back down to help you get to the top. You sure you wouldn't rather go outside from the bottom floor?' 'I want to see the city from up high.' Alex said as Juan placed him down on the second step. Juan brought the wheelchair up to the top. He came back down and helped Alex up. He put one of Alex's arms around his shoulders and held onto it. With his other hand, he put it around Alex's waist. They walked slowly, ascending the stairs in silence. Juan helped Alex get back into the wheelchair. He opened the door to the roof. Light bathed them. He lead Alex through the doorway into the sun. He brought Alex over close to the fence that surrounded the roof, on the side of the building where they used to work as lookouts. The city, as always, was devoid of sound and people. Towering buildings, their glass windows long shattered and all that once filled them stripped out, still shimmered under the clear sky. The metal frames and the fragments of broken glass sparkled like elegant corpses on display at a funeral. Kudzu and wisteria in full bloom crawled up and through the beams, covering the bloodstained carpets and unburied remains, dressing the city in bright green and light purple. A city in a forest, once alive and moving with its chaotic murmuration of humans, was returning from whence it came; the forest would swallow it up and the metal would vanish completely. More young pines took root closer and closer each year. Oaks and other trees were not far behind them. Where trees did not rule, English ivy and bamboo covered as much as the kudzu did. Juan wondered if their efforts here would last and they would dwell within that growing forest, or if the group beneath his feet would eventually disburse to some other place. A warm wind passed through. Alex smiled. 'It's still beautiful, even like this. I wish I could be like them.' 'Like who?' Juan asked. 'The kudzu. Nothing kills it. You can cut it down, but it's still alive deep underground.' Alex laughed. 'It'll eat those buildings, and then it'll eat the pine trees too. But I'm just like a pine tree. Didn't take much to break me.' Juan didn't say anything. Alex looked up at him. He put his hands to Juan's face. 'But maybe you are. Maybe you can eat them whole.' Juan placed his hands over Alex's, taking in his fleeting warmth. 'I don't know if I have that strength either.' 'Oh, I think you have plenty of strength, but you may not find it within that body of yours.' A voice spoke to him and only him. Juan looked up. On the other side of the fence, standing in the air, a cloaked figure carrying a large scythe watched him. He couldn't see the figure's face. Black gloves hid the figure's skin tone. From the voice, he assumed the figure was a man. Juan froze. The warm around them turned ice cold, as if it were the dead of winter. 'Who are you?' 'Enjoy your time with your beloved. I will take him tomorrow.' The figure said. 'And then we will meet again in a year.' 'A year?' Juan repeated. 'Who are you talking to?' Alex asked. Juan looked down at Alex, then back to where the figure had stood. No one was there. Places and people flashed before him in rapid succession. He saw himself leave the place he had stayed, travelling with various people to attack the locations of the people who had put them all in this situation. Conversations, like scenery, flashed through him and vanished like fireworks. After Alex's death, he had one goal: to destroy the man currently in charge of that group. Leadership had changed a few times. He was searching for a man named Dr. Summerfield. The Summerfield family had been at the center of everything. The current family head was young, around thirteen years younger than Juan was. The people around the Summerfield family followed them as if they were preachers of some new religion. Their followers had infiltrated large corporations and multiple branches of government at high positions before taking over in the midst of two deadly viral outbreaks happening simultaneously. A vaccine had been developed by the place Juan used to live at with Alex, which freed up movement for many people. Juan received his shot one month after Alex's death. He left that night. The doctor who gave it to him had informed him before that he likely was immune to both of the viruses for reasons he couldn't quite explain, but thought it was best to get the shot just in case. Religion was an apt comparison. He heard they had a woman they brought out pretending to be a goddess of rain. She was married to the head of the Summerfield family. Juan intended to kill both of them. Juan personally killed several high ranking members of the cult in the months after Alex's death. He was determined to end them. Alex's decline was in part because he needed care beyond what the doctors and nurses around them could offer. If none of this had happened, he would've stood a better chance. The cruel, carelessness of allowing disease to spread and killed millions, leaving the entire country in shambles, is what brought them to this point. Those who survived that initial wave of death struggled to live. Being too young and alone, being too old, every pregnancy, having a disability, becoming ill at all; any state of weakness greatly increased risk of death. Without any properly organized society and with so many experts gone, there would be no quick replacement for the talent lost to reduce that risk. He had told Alex it was human nature to protect the vulnerable, even at times like this, but those noble actions were a perpetual struggle against the cruelty of nature itself. It had been that way for most of human existence. That didn't quell Juan's rage. It didn't have to be like this. They had the knowledge and people before. The resources were there. What mattered before was getting access to them, with the limits coming in the form of money or distance. Now, there was next to nothing. They had lost decades of progress overnight in the luckiest of places. If things had been different, if they had been like before, he knew it wouldn't matter how far he had to go or how deep he had to dig himself into a financial hole. He would've gotten Alex care, whatever it took, whoever he had to fight through to get it. He couldn't win against the forces of nature, and he couldn't take back what Death had already claimed. But he could make those people pay. The burning flashes appeared before him one by one: scattered, processional, pain drowned him with each fragmented glimpse; residual particles drifted hotly under his feet; and what remained rose up inside him, building up the farther he ran through each place and time. As one faded away, another assaulted his heart, while all that burned within swirled round and round. He arrived at the final memory with a hurricane inside him. Juan stormed a large, white building. The interior was the same shade inside as the outer walls, and all the people donned that empty color. He killed many on his way to his true target, Dr. Summerfield. It had been a year since Alex died. His heart hadn't stopped aching for a single moment since. No amount of blood beneath his feet, nor painted across the blank walls, could satisfy his rage. He dragged a body with him, a woman in black and white. Her skin was pale as snow and her lips red as rose. The blood that dripped from her lips blended perfectly with the shade of lipstick she wore. The red dripped down her skin, snaking its way down to the red river below. The woman was used by the company as part of its brainwashing, a human goddess. A common, lazy tactic that worked well on the vulnerable, weakened minds desperate for normalcy after the collapse. This one was one of two he knew of. They planned to trade this one out for another woman soon, Dr. Summerfield's soon-to-be bride. He planned to kill that one too. Whether he got to the groom or the bride first did not matter to him, so long as both drew their last breath today. He found the doctor at the farthest end of the building. The man, dressed in all white save for a pitch black shirt and a red tie, greeted him without fear. He smiling calmly in a black office chair. The man relaxed his position in the chair. He seemed unbothered by the sight of the dead woman. 'You've gotten quite far today. It's quite impressive. We could use someone like you.' 'I'm sure you could.' Juan threw the corpse at Dr. Summerfield. 'I've killed your fake goddess. I'll kill the next one too.' The blood oozed blood out across the floor, flowing toward and beneath the man in the black chair. 'The next one? Oh? No, I don't think you will.' Juan aimed his gun at the man. A strange surge of electricity ran through his hand. He dropped the gun. His right arm went numb. 'What the...' The man in the chair grinned widely. 'Hmm...should I rewrite you to use, or kill you now? If you got your memories back, you might be a nuisance.' 'I'll kill you no matter what you do to me. I'll kill you all. All your followers, that fake goddess wife of yours, and...' Juan felt a gust of wind within the closed off room. The wind swirled around him faster and faster until his body was lifted off the ground. The wind did not affect Dr. Summerfield. He sat watching as Juan struggled to free himself. Objects within the room were pulled into the wind as the speed increased. They whirled around him, occasionally grazing him. The speed at which everything was moving made every minor point of contact a painful, bloody encounter. He felt a pen go straight through his abdomen. Staples that had fallen out of a stapler dragged in slashed through his clothes and skin. What didn't cut him left him bruised and broken. A book that slammed into him snapped his wrist. He couldn't cover his face, he couldn't speak, he couldn't flee. The wind caged him, throwing him round and round like a ragdoll. Clouds formed above him and rain began to fall from just below the ceiling. The windswept rain blended with his blood, creating a red mist around the funnel of wind. The red mist seeped into the white fabric the doctor wore until the doctor was dressed in red and black. The doctor opened a desk drawer to let more items get sucked up. He watched pencils, pens, and other office supplies fly away into the debris cloud before getting up from the chair. The impossible torrential pouring down inside the room flooded the space, filling up to just below Dr. Summerfield's waist. The water was faintly red from Juan and the dead woman's blood. The fake goddess he had slain rested at the bottom of the water where he had left her. Like Dr. Summerfield, she seemed unaffected by the weather within the room. The water could not bring her to float nor could the wind lift her. The lightbulbs in the room popped one by one. The room went black, the only light coming through came from the white hall outside through the tiny cracks between the door and its frame. The pure white light shone in a shade of red from all the blood swirling around. Flashes of light struck down around the room, lightning dancing down for far too long on the way to the floor. The brief moments of light illuminated the doctor's form in the dark space. The doctor's calm expression had changed to one of anger, an anger for all that Juan contained within himself he knew he could not match if his own rage had been a thousand times greater. Another light appeared within that dark space. A bright blue. The doctor's brown eyes had changed color. They glowed brightly in the dark. 'Take my love's life? No. If anyone were to ever touch a single hair on her head, there would be nothing left to identify them by. Oh, but the journey to there would be a long and slow one.' Dr. Summerfield walked through the wind, parting it before it faded away entirely. Juan's body fell into the water. He was unable to stand up. His legs and arms were ripped to shreds. The water, instead, lifted him back up. He couldn't see the man well, but Juan could feel his warmth and breath on him. The bright blue eyes were less than an inch from his own. The lightning stopped, leaving the faint red behind him and the glowing blue as the only lights left. In those eyes, perfectly round and alien, Juan could make out his own mangled reflection. There, in that watery, dark place, Juan felt as if he was trapped at the bottom of a well with a man-eating monster. 'I've decided. For those words, I will give you death. But fear not. I will give you a quick one. After all, you didn't get anywhere close to her, and you've done me a favor. I was going to kill our current fake soon anyway,.' Dr. Summerfield put his wet hands to Juan's face. The blue pierced through Juan down to his soul. Every bit of anger and determination had left him. Only fear remained. If he could speak, he would have screamed. 'But before I kill you, I'll let you in on a little secret. My wife may not be the goddess they worship. She has no powers at all. However...' So many lightning strikes came down at once the entire room was lit up in pure white. The electricity burned through Juan. With what little life remained in him, he finally screamed. Strike upon strike, each of the many bolts blended into one continuous flickering light. 'I'm the real thing.' Dr. Summerfield said before the water let go of Juan's body. He sunk beneath the water, falling not far from the corpse of the woman. The world around him went black again before the light returned from above the water. The moon shone down from above the now glowing blue water. Juan could move again. He sat up. The water was less deep than before and the room was gone. The night sky reflected in the water, all the way down the river he now sat in. The water clinging to him sparkled like stars and faintly glowed the same way the river did, the same way that doctor's eyes had. 'So, we meet again. It has been one year now, just as I said.' A robed figure walked toward Juan on top of the water's surface. The black-clad man knelt down and offered his hand to Juan. Juan's eyes opened wide. He woke in a sweat. His face was wet from tears. He was back in Alex's bedroom. He heard rain and thunder outside. Juan's heart rang in his ears. He looked over at the TV. It was quietly playing a recording of an angry sermon on a local channel. The light of the TV made it easy for him to see Nathan sleeping on the futon. As Juan began to regain his senses, he slowly realized he had been dreaming. The feelings of the dream lingered on in spite of him knowing it wasn't real. 'What the hell was that dream?' Juan thought to himself. Before he could think on that for long, something else grabbed his attention. Blue lights floated above him. The room began to fill up with them. He sat up and looked over at Alex. Alex was fast asleep. Eric, however, was wide awake. Eric was sitting up in the bed. He was quietly watching the blue lights. Eric sensed Juan's eyes on him. He looked over at him and whispered. "So, you're awake." "I just woke up." Juan said quietly. "You don't...look freaked out by this..." "I'm not." Eric said. "It happens every night now." "Then the other night...you knew what was happening..." "I did." "Why didn't you tell the truth?" Juan asked him. Eric looked down at Alex. He caressed Alex's face. "Let's talk somewhere else." Eric led Juan out of the room to the guest room at the other end of the hall. Eric turned on the light. He walked toward a door opposite the one they came through. "Let's talk on the balcony." "Um, let's just stay in here." Juan said. "Why? Are you scared of the dark?" Eric joked. "No, but earlier...I dunno. I thought I saw someone wandering around out there. Alex didn't see anyone, but...Maybe it was my imagination. I don't know..." Juan explained. "I believe you." Eric checked that the door and the window were both locked. He closed the blinds of the window in the room and the narrow ones that covered the glass of the balcony door. "I wouldn't put it past them to have someone stalking me." "Moone & Wolfe." Eric said. He sat down at the foot of the guest bed. "You wanted the truth, right?" "Eric...what's going on?" Juan asked. His heart began to race again. "You already know, my parents used to work for them. I don't have a lot of memories from back then. I was really young." Eric said. He glanced at the the balcony door. "I have a lot of gaps in my memories. I've kept diaries on and off, to try to remember what's actually gone on in my life. From what I can best guess, my memory tends to get spotty any time I've undergone a treatment at one of that company's facilities. Even though my parents don't work there anymore, they've always been weirdly obsessed with that company. It's like there's something else underneath it, like a cult." "I think you're probably right. Some of the things I looked up about that company were...really weird." Juan leaned against a dresser. "What do you think they did to you? How could they make you forget stuff?" "There was some kind of treatment they gave me for 'behavioral problems'. According to entries I wrote down, I wouldn't remember a lot around the time they'd do those. They used to put me on medication too that would give me memory problems. I can't remember the name of the drug off-hand. It was something experimental. Wasn't approved yet or something like that. I guess my parents were fine with me being a guinea pig. Lately, I've been wondering if the entire point of that drug was to mess with my memories." "But what for?" "To stop me from remembering something I'm not supposed to." Eric took a deep breath. He glanced at the door again, then the other door. "I know you won't think I'm crazy. Don't tell Alex about this. Since the lights started appearing, I've been dreaming about a boy who looks a lot like me. I know I've dreamt about him before, but I can't remember. I talked about him in diary entries. I know he's not me, but he looks a lot like me and he could make the lights appear." "Do you know who he might be?" Juan asked. "I think he's an older brother or a cousin. I've asked my parents before about why they waited so long to have me, or if I had an older sibling who passed away before. Because there's a huge gap between when they got married and when I was born. They always freak about it if I ask." Eric looked down at his hands. "I think something happened to that boy, something bad. I don't know if he's alive or not. When I try to think too hard about it, I see really...scary things and my head hurts." "Scary?" "A tank...filled with water...and inside..." Eric started to breath heavily. He held onto himself. Eric shook his head. "I can't...I can't see it clearly, whatever it is. I don't know what that company really does...but I don't think it's what they say they're doing. It's something...evil." Juan wanted to ask him more details on what this tank was, but he didn't want to upset Eric further. He changed the topic back to the lights. "These lights...what do you think they really are?" "They're ghosts." Eric said bluntly. "Or something like that. I've seen people sometimes when I wake up. The lights show up more if I have a nightmare, but I can make them show up at any time. It just needs to be somewhere dark." "You can make it happen on command?" Juan's eyes widened. "How?" "I didn't know how to at first, but I realized the intensity of the lights is related to how intensely I'm feeling something. It doesn't matter what emotion it is, it just needs to be intense. I can make the flowers appear then too." Eric put his hands together. "Flowers?" Eric pulled his hands apart from each other. Blue hydrangea flowers fell from his hands to the floor. "I don't know what this is. It's only been going on for a week, but it works the same way." "Are you sure you don't want to tell Alex about this? I mean...he can't really pretend this is some kind of magic trick. This is real." Juan suggested. Eric shook his head. "No, it'd scare him too much. Alex likes to act like he's really logical and skeptical of everything, but he's really afraid of stuff like this. If I showed him this, he'd probably have a heart attack." The dream from earlier flooded back into Juan's thoughts. He blurted out. "You don't really think he'd actually have a heart attack, do you?" Eric was taken aback by Juan's reaction. He laughed it off. "I mean, I don't think it'd be that serious, but it'd definitely scare the shit out of him." "Oh. I thought...you were saying he had heart problems." Juan let out of a sigh. 'That was just a weird dream. Don't think on it. I probably just dreamed that because of all the horror movies we watched.' "I don't think so. I mean, he did have some kind of issue in fourth grade, but kinda went away on its own." Eric said. "What? What do you mean?" "Um..." Eric thought back. "He had a lot of chest pain and started fainting. They never really figured out what was going on, but it stopped happening. They had him do a bunch of tests for a while. It never came back, so. I dunno. Whatever it was went away. He hasn't had anything like that happen since." "That's good." Juan's anxiety about his dream grew. "But um...yeah, maybe we shouldn't scare him. Should he even watch horror movies?" Eric laughed. "Juan, he's fine. Don't worry about that. It's been almost a decade since then." "Yeah...sorry...I don't know why that...anyway, um...You said those people from the company might be stalking you. Why do you think that is?" Eric got up from the bed. He peeked through the blinds. "I don't know. But I'm sure if I figure it out, they won't let me remember. I know you like going down crazy rabbit holes, but you shouldn't look any more into this. Don't show anyone what you recorded that night. Don't tell anyone else about it either. They'll make you forget." "I don't think they will." Juan said. "They've already let me remember something I shouldn't. Now, I'm more certain than before what I saw that night when I was a kid...that night when Steven disappeared, that was real." "Probably." Eric said. "But if what you told me is what happened, you can't really tell anyone about it without looking crazy anyway. That might be why they let you remember." "What about you? Why aren't you allowed to remember then what happened to you?" Juan asked. "There's a difference between you and me." Eric reminded him. "My parents were part of Moone & Wolfe. Whatever is in my memories...might damage them in a way what you remember can't. They'll probably make me forget we talked about this too. If that happens, and I don't believe you anymore, just remember you're not going crazy and I'm not really against you. I just don't remember anymore." Juan went quiet for a moment, searching for words. He had a million questions in mind. He settled on one, returning back to the lights. "Why do you think they gave you these abilities...the lights and...whatever those flowers are...?" "I don't know. They must've wanted it for something, but I don't know anymore what that reason is." Eric backed away from the window. "I know it'll come back to me eventually, but I'm not going to look into it. I don't want anything to do with them, or my parents, or this place. I'm moving to Atlanta with Alex and I'm never going to think about any of that again." Juan took that as Eric telling him the conversation was over. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to upset you." "It's okay. But don't tell Alex about this, okay?" Eric noticed the time on the clock by the guest bed. "Oh, is it that late already? Guess I should make breakfast." Juan looked at the clock. It was eight-thirty. "Is it that late? It's so dark out." Eric opened the door. "It is raining. Pretty bad too. I wonder if we're under a watch. You going back to bed?" Juan stretched. "Nah, I'm pretty awake now. Between that conversation and the weird dream I had last night, I don't think I could go back to sleep." "Weird dream? What was it about?" Eric asked. "Ah...Nothing. It didn't make sense, but it was really intense." Juan followed Eric down to the kitchen. He thought on his dream again. He couldn't tell Eric that his dream was both about the company Eric didn't want to talk about, nor that he was in a relationship with Alex in that dream. He was sure Eric would ask him what that was about. Juan didn't know himself. He was certain he was straight. He knew without a doubt he definitely liked women. 'Unless I'm bisexual, but there's no way. I would've figured that out by now if I was. It's probably some kind of dream symbolism or something.' Juan told himself. Eric made scrambled eggs and bacon. He fixed a pot of cinnamon tea. He asked Juan. "Do you want tea or coffee?" "Ah, I'd rather have coffee." Eric opened up a container. "Hmm...I'm gonna have to grind some. Where's the grinder at?" "You don't need to do that. Do you have any canned coffee?" Juan asked. "Hmm...I think there's some in the fridge." Eric said. He froze, staring straight ahead. His expression suddenly changed. His face went pale and his eyes widened. "Eric...?" Juan approached him. "Are you okay?" Eric blinked several times. He put the container down. "Ah...yeah...I'm fine. I'm...fine..." "You sure?" "Uh huh. Yeah. I zoned out for a sec. That's all." Eric's face remained pale as they went back up the stairs. Juan decided not to ask Eric any further questions. He watched Eric wake Alex. "Morning. I made breakfast." Eric said. A little warmth returned to his skin as he looked into Alex's eyes. Alex, half asleep, reached up and pulled Eric into a deep kiss. When Alex pulled away, he said, "I love you." "I love you too." Eric returned his words. Alex sat up and stretched. His quickly went into a panic as he recalled that he was currently hosting a sleepover. Alex looked around the room, his face a deep red. Juan, sitting on the floor in front of the TV, waved at him as he ate his breakfast. Juan grinned at him. "Morning." Alex was blushing so deeply even his ears were red. "Morning." Juan laughed under his breath. He watched the two of them as he ate. As he observed their closeness, his dream from last night slipped back into his thoughts. The Alex in his dream that he lost, for a moment, he could almost feel his warmth. The emotions from the night were filling up inside him, longing for the intimacy Eric shared with Alex. Juan pushed the feelings down. Emotions from intense dreams often lingered on past dawn. He told himself it was nothing more than that. Around noon, Juan and Nathan said goodbye to Eric and Alex. They headed back to Juan's house. Nathan took to the couch. He wrote in his pocket notebook while half watching the local news. Juan turned on the old computer. Roshi and Eric had both told him to not dig any deeper. But he couldn't help himself. After what he saw and heard from Eric, he had all new questions he needed answers for. He remembered what Roshi told him before. He told him Eric was the source of the blue lights, but he remembered Roshi had said blue lights or flowers. Eric could do both. That was something even Roshi didn't know. Eric confirmed to him what Roshi had already told him, that Eric's memories were being altered. And as Roshi had said, Eric also thought the lights were related to the dead. With the little Eric knew about what happened to him, he thought the company was likely running a cult behind the scenes too, something many of the forum users assumed. Everything Roshi had told him, Eric confirmed. He wanted to talk to Roshi again, but he doubted Roshi would tell him more. He already told him not to dig deeper and not to call him unless he was in danger. 'But someone did show up last night. Maybe it's okay if I call him...' Juan got up from the computer and went out in the backyard. He looked around before taking out his phone. The number was still there. He had saved the phone number under "Jay" with no last name. Juan called and waited for someone to pick up. "Hello, Juan." The same voice as before answered. "Hey." "I told you not to call unless you were in danger." He said. "I don't know if I am. Someone was following me last night. They tried to get in the house, but I don't think they got in. I'm scared." Juan admitted. "Can't...we talk? Can't you tell me who you are? You said they're not watching me, but someone is. Who's watching me?" "Go inside." Roshi said. "Pick a room you know someone can't spy on you from. Then we can have a little video chat." Juan went back inside. He locked himself in the basement bathroom. "Okay. I'm somewhere no one can see me." "Alright. I'm going to call you back in a sec. It'll be from a different phone, but you can save that number too. Put it under 'Bob'. Yeah, that'll be fine." Roshi said. He hung up. "A video call...Is he really going to show me his face?" Juan wondered aloud. His phone vibrated. Juan nearly dropped it. He answered. "Hello again, Juan." The man who appeared on his phone screen was older than Juan. He looked around Juan's parents' age or older. From his skin tone and facial features, Juan wondered if he was Latino. "Is it alright if I ask your real name? I won't tell anyone. It doesn't seem fair you know mine, but I don't know yours." "Jake Corbin." The man answered him. Juan was surprised he gave it so freely. He assumed it might be another fake name. "Huh. That's not the kind of name I expected." "What were you expecting?" "I dunno...a Spanish name." Juan shrugged. "I thought you might be Hispanic." "Wrong side of the border." Jake said. "But names don't mean much anyway. I'm sure you don't believe me about my name." "I don't." "That's good." Jake said. "You are being followed. They sent someone out to keep an eye on your friend, Eric Thomas. Seems he's gotten distracted by you though and isn't reporting back to them regularly about what he's actually doing." "Why me?" "I believe you know him. His name is Steven Morales." Juan nearly dropped the phone. "You're kidding...Then...he is alive...Why didn't you tell me who he was before?" "Because you'd want to talk to him. Don't interact with him. Ignore him. They'll notice eventually he's not on task and call him back." Jake told him. "What if he forces it?" "Call me, if you can. Otherwise, do your best to get away from him until you can call me." "Do you...live near here?" Juan asked. "I've lived a lot of places. But I'm not in the US anymore. I've been living in Scotland for about a year now. My last visit to the US was yesterday to tie up some loose ends with Moone & Wolfe." Jake told him. "Did...you work for them?" Juan asked the obvious question. "I've worked for a lot of people, for a lot of reasons." Jake gave him a non-answer. "Don't worry about that. And don't worry about Steven. You won't have to deal with him for much longer." "But what about after that? Are they really going to keep watching Eric? Isn't there anything I can do about that?" "No. That's beyond your control." Jake said. "But what if they try to hurt him? I don't want anything to happen to my friend." Jake looked away. "Ignore them unless that happens. But they're not easy to infiltrate. My advice to you is to keep a low profile, don't look into anything, and don't go after them. If they do take your friend, your best bet would be to willingly join them and try to sneak him back out." "Is that what you did? Who did you get out?" Juan asked. Jake laughed under his breath. "I was mostly there for revenge, but I have gotten people out. I've given protection to people who aren't even aware of my existence. Only cost my soul." "What did you..." Juan started to ask. Jake cut him off. "You don't need to know. Was there anything else you wanted to ask me, Juan?" "Um..." Juan thought it over. "Those blue lights...you said they were connected to the dead. I saw them again last night. Eric says he can control seeing them, if he's awake. He said he thought they were ghosts. Do you know exactly what they are?" "You're not supposed to be digging any deeper, Juan." Jake reminded him. "I know. I won't tell anyone what they are, but I really want to know." Juan lowered his voice. "This is going to sound stupid. It was just a dream, but last night...I think I saw the grim reaper. That's...not a real thing, right? Do you know?" Jake went quiet for a moment. "What did he say to you?" "I mean, it was just a dream...but...well, in the dream, it's like I was living some other life and he told me he'd meet with me after my death. Something about having some kind of strength, but that it wasn't in my body...I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm talking about." Red rose in Juan's face. "Interesting." Jake's tone had a sadness in it. "Well, if that's how it is, I suppose it doesn't matter if I tell you." "If that's how what is?" "You'll know soon enough." Jake said. "There are beings like that. Unless you are close to death, you have certain abilities, or you are wearing a certain type of item, you cannot see them unless they want you to see them. There is more than one. I've seen at least three of them, but none with my regular sight. They've approached Moone & Wolfe before about some of their research. Humans aren't supposed to normally see those blue lights. Those are spirits, bound to earth for some reason or another. How the company managed to pull off that manipulation of energy, I don't think even they understand it. It was luck." "Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying...you've seen a grim reaper...and not even one, but several. That's a real thing? Are you fucking with me?" Juan pictured Alex in his mind, demanding him to be reasonable and debunk what he was hearing. "You're fucking with me." "I already told you before those blue lights were connected to the dead. You'll know more about that soon enough anyway. Likely more than I ever will." Jake said. "Why are you taking my dream seriously like this?" "What else did you dream about?" Jake answered Juan's question with a question. Juan was beginning to question if he should keep talking to Jake. He wondered if Jake contacting him in the first place was just to get more information on him. "Um, there was a disaster...something about two viral outbreaks that happened at the same time and everything got really chaotic after that. I'm sorry. I was watching a bunch of horror movies last night. Forget I said anything about that. Who are you really? Why did you call me before?" "Juan, I'm not trying to hurt you. But we should probably stop talking. You really don't need to know more than you do. You're better off not knowing." Jake said. "But you should keep a gun on you, especially once July comes." "Why?" "Can't say. I gotta go. I have work to do." Jake refused to answer him. "Goodbye, Juan." "Bye." Jake ended the call. Juan fell to the floor. He leaned against the bathtub. "What the fuck?" Normally, all the things Jake said would excite him. He always wanted to believe there were so many secrets out there in the world, hidden in plain sight. When he began his investigation into the blue lights, and then Moone & Wolfe, it gave him a thrill. Right now, he wanted to forget it ever happened. He tried to soothe his mind by attempting to convince himself everything Jake told him was fake, and he was nothing more than some strange hacker pranking him. The images he saw on the forum of bodies to be fed on, those were creative edits. Eric was likely unwell. He was, after all, in and out of psychiatric treatment. The unethical behavior the company engaged in with patients were normal abuses already common to the industry. Alex had told him as much. The rest was people letting their imaginations run wild and people playing pretend, faking deaths for internet drama. After all, nearly everything he had encountered that was especially disturbing to him had come from a questionable internet forum. No one was stalking him. He was paranoid, nothing more. That was what he imagined Alex would tell him. Alex was usually right about what was real and what wasn't. He told himself he needed to believe in what he knew Alex would say. Alex would probably laugh about all this, and how obviously fake most of it was. "Maybe I'm going crazy." Juan started to wonder if he had even called anyone today. He closed his phone, afraid to look. Juan got up from the floor. He left the bathroom. Nathan looked up at him. "You okay? You were in there a while." "Yeah. I'm fine. Just a little nauseous. Think I need some air." Juan lied. He went back outside. Juan looked up at the grey sky. The rain had stopped for now. He closed his eyes and felt the wind on his skin. 'Maybe I need to see a doctor. There's got to be a cheap one around here.' Juan sighed. He opened his eyes. Someone was standing beside him. Juan froze. The man put his finger to Juan's lips. "Shh. Keep your voice down." Juan took a moment to say anything. He lowered his voice. "Who are you?" "You don't know?" The man asked. "Steven?" Juan asked. "You do remember me." The man smiled. "We need to talk. Not here. Meet me at Lucille Creek Trail, under the big bridge." "Why?" Juan asked. "Can't say. I'll see you there." Steven took something out of his back pocket. The object was small, rectangular, and black on one side. The other side had a screen. Steven tapped something on the screen. "What are you doing?" Juan asked. "It's protocol." Steven held the device up to Juan's forehead. Juan blinked. Steven was gone. Juan ran inside. Nathan was watching TV on the couch. "You were out there a long time. You sure you're okay?" Nathan asked. Juan looked at his phone's clock. An hour had passed. "I saw Steven." "Who?" "Steven Morales." Juan said. "The boy who disappeared. He told me to meet him somewhere." "For what?" "He didn't say." Juan sat down on the couch, dazed. "Are you going to?" "I dunno. I think I need to. Can you come with me?" Juan's hands began to shake. "I need you to confirm something for me." "What's that?" "That he's really there. If we go and you don't see anyone, take me to a hospital." Juan took in a deep breath. "What's brought this on?" Nathan asked. "I dunno...So, will you do it? I need you to promise me, if you see nothing's really going on, you'll take me to a hospital." Nathan put his hand on Juan's shoulder. "You have my word. But, say we do run into someone there, what's plan B?" "Take one of my guns. I won't carry one, in case I am losing it, but one of us probably should if I'm not." Juan suggested. Nathan opened a can of beer. He downed half the can. "Alright. Give me a gun and let's go." VIII. A Quiet Dawn